


Four Paws, and Blue Eyes

by sastielhugs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashback, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Harley - Freeform, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, NSFW, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sastiel - Freeform, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 11:58:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 40,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2651219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sastielhugs/pseuds/sastielhugs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>! Open Chapter 1 and read notes before considering starting this fic ! </p><p>Sam Winchester works in a book store with his slightly annoying colleague and friend Gabriel. Sam lives alone in an apartment with his dog Harley that he loves really much. One sunny afternoon he is walking Harley in the park when the dog jumps on a handsome blue-eyed man and Sam feels really bad for scaring him so he decides to make up for it. That afternoon coffee with the man called Castiel occupies his mind and soon everything takes a new turn, unspoken dreams coming true, obstacles coming in between them, but both determined to work it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with that idea in the middle of September while i was on a dog competition with my friend. It took me about 2 months to finish it mostly because i was busy with school and not every day in mood to write. It's my first really long (and sastiel) fiction so i hope i did it good. The first person who read it said that it's perfect. She said it has a little from everything, it's easy and enjoyable to read it; the characters are perfectly written and she is in love.  
> !!!! The fic does no revolve around the sexual content. The sexual content is written in separate chapters that readers, who are not comfortable, can skip without missing important plot points. !!!  
> Leave kudos, comment and enjoy.

Sam has taken Harley on a walk this afternoon. It’s sunny and the air is fresh after slight drizzle around lunch. Harley is really good dog and Sam is not afraid to let him off the leash in the park as he always does. Sam is really proud of how well he had trained his big boy. Just a whistle out of his lips and Harley is back to him, waiting another sign that he is free to run again.

Sam meets few friends and other people he often meets in the park at the same time of the day. He holds Harley when few kids want to scratch him and Harley behaves really well. Not once girls and young women have come to Sam, paying attention to his dog and then to him but not once Sam had interest in them. He has been living with Harley since he was a little dog and he is just fine with his life, living in a little apartment with his dog, working in a bookstore few blocks down his home.  And still there are days he feels something is missing.

Like this morning, when the mist outside was thick, he had looked over the other side of his bed and had felt some sort of emptiness. But before he could gotten sad, Harley had jumped on the bed and had licked his face. The same feeling had returned when he had stepped on the cold tiles in the kitchen to prepare coffee for himself only. He had wish there was a reason to use another mug and brew double doze of coffee that he would share with someone… someone who was going to wait him sleepy in bed.

Sam scratches Harley behind the ear.

‘Want to race to the fountain, boy?’ Sam speaks and feels the dog tensing under his fingers, ready to fun. ‘Huh, boy? Want to race?’ Harley barks and licks Sam’s face. Sam laughs and pets him. ‘Go boy.’

Harley runs as fast as possible around the corner of high bushes and Sam just calmly walks after him. Until he hears screams and pleads and the blood freezes in his veins. Harley never attacks anyone and Sam loses his mind for a moment because what if he hurt someone and they sue Sam and his dog and his dog gets put into sleep. Sam will die without his Harley. He loves his dog more than anything. He speeds up down the path and does a sharp turn around the bushes. He finds Harley over a man in the grass, licking his face.

‘NO, NO PLEASE.’ The man screams with hands on his face, writing under the dog. The people passing by stare at Sam and the dog but no one reacts because it’s obvious the dog is not harming the man who keeps yelling for help.

‘He won’t bite, calm down.’ Sam chuckles and puts the leash back on Harley, pulling him off the man.

He doesn’t think Sam is funny however. He is shaking on the ground, hands on his face, letting quiet sobs and not daring to move. Few people ask if they should call ambulance but Sam hurries to send them away. Shit is going down. He and his dog are going to be in jail – he in jail and Harley in dog jail or put into sleep. Sam starts panic. He pulls Harley away and kneels to the man, squeezing his shoulders.

‘Hey, calm down. Are you okay?’ Sam helps him sit up and tries to pull his hands off his face. ‘Are you having a panic attack? You are not hurt. It’s all fine.’ Sam pushes Harley away again and kneels in front of the man.

The man uncovers his face slowly, eyes wide and glistening with tears, cheeks red, still trembling.

_Shit,_ Sam thinks when he sees the man. There is something sad and cute about his panicked face and disheveled black hair. Sam could swear he hasn’t seen more beautiful man before and out of nothing he has the urge to wrap arms around him and cuddle him till he calms down. He looks at Sam with his big blue sparkling eyes and Sam’s stomach does a back flip. 

‘I’m sorry. Harley is really friendly. Please don’t sue me.’

The man cracks a smile and lets his hands in his lap. ‘I-I won’t… I don’t have money for a lawyer.’

Sam is genuinely surprised by the man’s deep voice. It’s deeper than anything Sam has ever heard and it sends a shiver all over his body that he tries to cover up. He blinks at the man, trying to say something, but doesn’t realize his mouth is gapping dry and stupid. Harley tries to stand between the men and Sam notices how alarmed the other is and pushes the dog away.

‘Down, boy’. He turns to the other and holds his shoulder ‘Are you okay?’ 

Blue eyes nods but he is not convincing enough. Sam helps him stand up and the man tries to stand behind Sam, away from the dog.

‘Would you… like to come with me for a coffee? My treat. I want to pay off because Harley.’

Sam scratches his neck awkwardly, squeezing the leash to white knuckles. All the time the other man is too alarmed by the dog but snaps back to Sam when he hears the offer.

‘Sure’ he agrees, however and waits Sam to lead.


	2. Chapter 2

****Both men were extremely quiet on the way to Sam’s favourite coffee place. Sam had tied Harley outside and had opened the door for the other man who had blushed slightly.

They sit and immediately the waitress comes and takes their orders.

‘I’m Sam.’ Sam reaches his hand across the table and the other takes it carefully.

‘Castiel.’

‘Really?’ Sam tries to suppress laughter and Castiel hurries to pull his hand, looking away.

‘I’m named after the angel of Thursday. Hilarious I know.’

‘No.’ Sam rests his elbows on the table, ducking head to look at Cas ‘I like it… Religion is one of my favourite subjects.’ He feels a bit sad for probably hurting Castiel and that’s the last thing he needs.

‘Is it?’ Castiel looks back at him under thick black eyelashes and smiles warmly, sitting more comfortable. ‘My family has always been really religious. I was convinced of not changing my name because I already had an angel to look after me.’

‘What if you are an angel yourself?’ Sam offers and they stare at each other as the words buffer in their minds and both grin wide and look away. ‘I’m sorry I just…’

‘It’s okay. That’s the first compliment I get in months and from a guy in years. It’s nice.‘ Sam smiles and makes eye contact again. The redness is gone from Castiel’s cheeks and eyes. ‘You often use Harley to pick up chicks?’

‘Oh no… I pick up chicks with my hands. They are really fragile.’ Sam gets really soft and Castiel frowns a bit as Sam explains ‘See, they are tiny and fluffy and the mother hen can be around and she might get really intimidating if I touch her chicks.’

Just then the light bulb flashes in Castiel’s mind and he cover his eyes, laughing. Sam’s dimples cut his cheeks as he laughs again first because he is so proud of his wittiness and second because Castiel is laughing so cutely.  

‘But on the serious side – not really. Chicks come to me all by themselves, but I’m not interested.’ Sam shrugs and smiles when the waitress brings them their coffees.  

‘You are waiting for the perfect one.’ Castiel more states than he questions.

‘Could be said like that.’ Sam nods ‘You know…’ he talks a bit unsure ‘Flat boobs… full place between the legs…’ He is so embarrassed, taking a sip from the coffee while his feet tap nervously on the floor. Castiel chokes on his coffee when he finally realizes and Sam gets worried. ‘Are you okay?’

Castiel nods and wipes his mouth, staring at Sam for a while and leaning over the table. ‘You want to say you are… gay?’

Sam’s jaw clenches and he nods, settling the cup down. ‘I will understand if you want to leave now. I just wanted you to know… I just…’

‘Take your chances?’ Castiel smirks.

‘Well… not exactly.’ Sam shifts on his place and he is half way through dropping few dollars and storming out of the café.

‘You should not be embarrassed of what your… sexual orientation is.’ Castiel relaxes in his sit and takes another sip, trying to make Sam feel comfortable enough to relax too and talk. Sam notices Castiel’s body language and voice and actually calms down.

‘I just feel like I have to make that clear all the time and people’s reactions are-’

Castiel cleans his throat ‘Mine was the worst, wasn’t it?’

Sam tries to say something but nods and chuckles. ‘It was. But… I don’t feel bad about it. Which is… completely different to me.’  

‘Alright then. Guess what’s mine orientation.’ Castiel probes on his elbows and smiles softly.

Sam looks at him surprised for a moment. ‘I thought you were-‘

‘Straight? Most think so at the beginning.’

‘So you are… gay?’

‘Bi ,actually. But most of the time I hit on men. There is something alluring in the intimacy between men.’

Sam laughs and combs fingers through his hair which Castiel considers as complete relax and unconscious move of impressing the partner that he finds adorable.  

The rest of the afternoon goes smoothly. They never mention sexual stuff, instead they talk about each other – where they live, what they have studied, where they work, hobbies and dreams. They get completely swallowed into each other that track of time is lost. Too many times Castiel’s eyes lingered on Sam’s dimples and his heart fluttered by his laugh. Too many times Sam stared in Castiel’s blue eyes and compared them to a sky he could only read about in books and never see in real life. And the wrinkles on the edges of Castiel’s eyes made him question how wise the man is.

Harley interrupts them even from outside with his whiny barking for attention and food. Sam sighs and takes out to pay the bill.

‘I’m really sorry. I have to take care of him. And it’s getting late. ‘

‘It’s fine’ Castiel smiles and follows Sam outside.

‘But’ Sam turns to him all excited ‘Maybe we could repeat?’

Harley barks and alarms Castiel again who stares at the dog and needs a way too much more time to concentrate back on Sam. Sam touches his shoulder to help him.

‘Yes, sure’ Castiel answers and his face slowly relaxes again as Sam stands and blocks the way to the dog. ‘Here’ Castiel takes out a pen and gently squeezes Sam’s fingers, writing his number on the opposite of his palm.

‘When should I call you?’ Sam blushes a bit.

‘Week days after 4pm.  I’m home by then.’

They look at each other for a little more still processing what happened the last few hours. Harley barks again.

‘Alright, alright.’ Sam shakes head ‘Bye, Castiel.’

‘Sam’ Castiel bows his head shortly and slowly steps back before turning to walk away.

Sam stares after him. There are people on the street but he doesn’t see them. They mean nothing. Only Harley brings him back to the reality and Sam kneels to untie the leash.


	3. Chapter 3

Harley goes straight in the kitchen and waits while Sam takes off his jacket and leaves the keys next to the door. He goes after his fave dog and pours him dog food in the bowl and Harley eats loudly with pleasure.

Sam warms up some dinner for himself and settles in front of the TV. He is too tired to take a shower and somehow feels content and lax, smiling without reason. But there is a reason.

_Castiel._

Sam thinks of him more than he intends to. From the way Castiel talks to the way Castiel walks. For a second he panics it was all a dream but when he lifts his hand, the number is still there. _NO, SHIT,_ it’s almost rubbed clean after he washed his hands. His chest tightens and he grabs the phone, dialing the number. After 3 free signals, and Sam biting his nail, the phone is picked up.

‘Castiel’ Sam’s voice comes somehow minatory.

 _‘Y-y-yes’_ Castiel stutters on the other side. ‘Wh-who is it?’

‘It’s Sam. With the dog.’ Sam facepalms himself for sounding so awful.

_‘Oh, hello Sam. I didn’t… expect you to call so early.’_

‘Yes… no... I mean’ _Oh good I look so freaking desperate, it’s over. ‘_ For a moment I panicked I wiped your number off my skin and I wanted to make sure I still have it right.’ _Doesn’t sound pathetic at all._

 _‘No, it’s still right. Don’t worry.’_ Castiel chuckles and Sam is kind-a relieved.

‘I’m glad’ He relaxes slightly. ‘I know it’s early but… I called you already so maybe… want to go for afternoon snack somewhere?’

_‘It would be my pleasure’_

_‘_ Alright then…uum.. good night, Castiel.’

_‘Good night Sam.’_

Sam closes the phone and sits in silence. A wide grin cracks on his face and he hides under the cover. It’s funny. He acts like a teenager and blushes of that thought. It’s just two friends, who just met, going for a bite after work. But Sam can’t stop grinning. Harley comes to sniff him and licks his face, curious at his owner’s behavior. Sam scratches him and pats hand on the couch for Harley to join him. Sam smiles and he is calm until the thought strikes him. _When?_

He dials Castiel again.

‘Hi, it’s Sam… again.’

 _‘Hi, again’_ Castiel chuckles.

‘The date is on Monday after work. I will come and take you.’ Sam clarifies.

‘Alright then-‘ there is sudden silence ‘The date?’

‘NO, I mean- our meeting- see you then. Good night.’ Sam speaks fast and hangs the phone up as if it is cursed object.

He sits shocked on the couch, Harley demanding for a scratch.

‘I failed, didn’t I? But how would you know, you are a dog.’ Harley barks which Sam is not sure like what to consider it. Castiel didn’t notice that Sam forgot to name on what date is their ‘meeting’ so probably he was excited too. ‘I better have a good sleep.’

Meanwhile in his own apartment, Castiel stands by the phone a bit confused and leaves it calmly. Then he goes back to the couch and slams hand over his chest, dropping his full weight down with hands on the face trying to cover the huge smile splitting him in half. If not the idea of Sam calling him, then he was blushing of his own excited behavior.


	4. Chapter 4

Monday is Sam’s longest day. He keeps looking at the clock every 15 minutes and wishes he didn’t have to work. He wishes he could sleep till late and spend the rest of the day with Harley before meeting Castiel. He is thankful that a lot more customers come this day. He takes time to talk to every customer and offer them books. His colleague Gabriel makes sure to distract him during the rest of the time and Sam tries to gently push away few coffee invitations from beautiful chicks and from 2 dudes who seem were barely 20. Sam didn’t think they are his type, besides he is a lot interested in someone else.

‘For once you didn’t want to come with me on a date, but you meet this blue-eyed stranger in the park, that obviously hates your dog and you call him the same night he gave you his number. I don’t understand you’ Gabriel shakes his head with a smug smile, while stocking the new bestsellers on the front window.

‘You don’t know anything, Gabe, shut up.’ Sam smiles shyly and tries to concentrate on his book.

‘You like him, don’t you.’

‘Gabe… shut up.’ Sam repeats.

‘Yes, you like him. Come on, Sam. Give it a try. You haven’t been with anyone in really long time.’

‘Gabe… I just met him. I don’t know much about him.’

‘That’s why you go on dates.’

‘It’s just a stupid teenage crush. I’m sure we don’t match. We will probably stay friends. And if he doesn’t like Harley… I can’t be with anyone who doesn’t like my Harley.’  

‘So you DO consider the idea of being with him.’ Gabe leans on the desk and stares Sam with a grin on his face.

Sam stares him back for few seconds. Gabe wiggles his brows and Sam grabs a magazine, hitting Gabe’s head with it.

It’s barely 3pm when Sam honors Gabe with the chance to close the bookstore later. Sam hurries to get home and take a wash for his body only. He chooses a bit better outfit than the sport one from the weekend. He puts on his favourite cologne, ties Harley on the leash and goes out.

He walks Harley on the streets, because he needs his walk everyday and goes to the school where Castiel is teacher. He waits few minutes but Castiel doesn’t show up. Sam talks to the guard at the entrance and the man goes to the teacher’s room.

‘He will be out in a few minutes’ the man smiles when he comes back and pets Harley.

Not long after that Castiel comes out of the school. He has dress pants, white dress shirt with buttons, carrying his briefcase and overcoat in hands. He smiles at Sam and Sam’s smile flashes even brighter. He notices Castiel being a bit tired but also really excited.

‘Hungry?’

‘Definitely.’

Castiel keeps an eye on Harley all the time. Sam leads him on his left side and keeps him off Castiel while the man walks on Sam’s right side. He gets surprised when Castiel chooses where they are going to have breakfast. Sam likes it. It means Castiel has opinion and he is not afraid of taking the things in his hands.

They order pancakes with maple syrup, and coffee. Castiel tells Sam about his day at school and Sam admits he wishes he could go back to those years.

‘You don’t really need that. The schedule is awful, the books are crap, children are not interested in learning anymore.’ Castiel frowns and stuffs some pancake in his mouth. ‘At least I have some kind of method to help kids learn. Religion is a subject that can’t easily keep the attention.’

‘And how are the kids dealing?’

‘Most of them have As. Then Bs and some who are too uninterested have Cs. But that’s only a handful. How’s in the bookstore?’

‘Calm as always. Being surrounded by books is relaxing. Makes me feel safe. Maybe I have a kink for the smell of the books.’

‘You have a good taste, I have to admit. You are wearing my favourite cologne.’

‘Really?’ Sam’s dimples cut his cheeks again. ‘That’s a nice surprise.’

‘I don’t tend on using such men stuff. I stick to anti-sweat roll on, sometimes deodorant, and aftershave. But smelling it on others makes me tingle.’ He blushes a bit. Sam laughs and takes a sip from his coffee.

When they finish, Sam takes his wallet to pay but Castiel puts hand over his.

‘It’s me.’

‘Oh, no. I invited you, I will pay, it’s okay.’

‘Sam, please. You paid the first time. I want to do it now.’

‘But, Cas, I paid only for coffee that time.’

‘Cas?’ Castiel frowns.

Sam freezes and thinks frantically what he has just done. 

‘This is new. And interesting,’ Castiel smiles but Sam is still tensed. ‘Everyone used to call me Tino.’

‘Cas suits you better.’ Sam shrugs slightly and Castiel nods.

‘I really like it, Sam. I don’t mind if you call me like that. It will be our thing.’

Something about it makes Sam’s insides warm up, and it’s definitely not the coffee. Castiel’s voice is still as deep as it was when they first met. It is somehow weird compared to how bright his face is. Still his heart flutters when Castiel talks. Sam observes his face, every reaction, the slight lip-lick, and sparkling blue eyes. And again the hours rolled and Harley demanded to go home.

‘I have great time with you, Sam. Will we meet again?’

‘I would like to. You can come by my bookstore sometime.’

‘Thank you for the invitation. See you soon, Sam.’

‘Hope so. Have a good evening, Cas.’

Again, Sam and Harley have a dinner alone. Sam feels curious and excited of how the days are going to pass from that day on. He is sure that Cas is interested in him as much Sam is interested back. He cuddles with Harley on the couch and scratches his neck.

‘You like Cas?’

The dog keeps its eyes closed, enjoying the scratch and not listening to Sam at all.

‘Thank you for jumping on him, but he is mine.’

Harley lets sleepy, kind-a irritated sigh, getting lax over Sam. Sam chuckles and shakes his head before turning back to the TV.


	5. Chapter 5

The week is busier than Sam expects. Sam and Gabe have a stock-taking which requires them to stay in the store for 9 hours every day. Sam is honestly relieved that Castiel doesn’t come by those days because he is too busy and needs all the concentration. The man goes home to extremely irritate dog that haven’t happened in really long time. Sam’s head hurt a lot and he fell asleep a bit after 9 every night.  On top of that he has to go to his parents for 2 days because sudden problems with the property of their house so on the weekend he takes Harley and drives to there. He doesn’t tell them anything about Castiel. His mind has been taken by so many problems. When he comes home Sunday night, he picks up the phone and calls Castiel.

_‘Hello, Sam. Nice to hear you’_

‘Cas, hi. Uuum… look it was… really busy and tough week for me. I’m sorry if you had waited me to call and I never did.’

_‘It’s okay, Sam. My week was busy too. I had a lot of tests to grade.’_

‘Are you free tomorrow night? We can go out on a dinner and talk about it?’

 _‘I would love to but-‘_ Cas sighs and Sam closes his eyes. He is sure Castiel is trying to make up and excuse ‘ _I have to stay in the school longer tomorrow. On Tuesday I have to prepare new tests. How about Wednesday?’_

‘Shit, I can’t then. Boss is coming in the store till the end of the week. I have to run after his ass, he will take the employees out on dinner as he always does. Weekend? We can take Harley on a walk together in the park.’

 _‘Sorry, Sam._ I can’t come then.’ Castiel doesn’t explain.

‘Alright.’ For a first time in a long time Sam feels rock in his gut, disappointed. ‘I will just call some other time and arrange something.’

_‘Next week we will plan something. I’m sorry-‘_

‘No, please. It’s okay. We are just busy. Good night, Castiel.’

 _‘You too, Sam._ ’

Sam rubs his eyes after he hangs the phone and Harley comes to lick and comfort him. Sam’s not that calm anymore. He doesn’t want to lose his friendship with Cas. He has the awful feeling that Castiel is avoiding him somehow, but trying to sound as if he is not. Sam decides – if they don’t manage to meet again the next week he will just stop looking for him.

 

The week starts with rain and cool wind. Sam doesn’t feel like leaving the warm bed this morning. Usually so excited to meet Castiel, he is not like that now. He doesn’t see anything nice to look forward that week. He considers the idea of leaving Gabe in the store for the first 2 days and just go when the boss comes. But he can’t let a little disappointment to knock him down. He can’t sit home in PJs, eat ice cream and watch stupid romantic movies while thinking of the handsome man with the blue eyes that Harley had chosen for him.

Sam shakes his head and jumps off bed fast, trying to keep it as manly as possible, Harley distracting him by jumping around and demanding for scratch and breakfast.

Sam dresses up in something warm, takes his coffee and gives Harley some orders to be a good boy and stay home, before Sam lives for work.

Sam is unusually quiet in the bookstore. He doesn’t talk much when he is in mood but this day he doesn’t say a word. His mind is either blank or taken over my Castiel’s deep bone-shattering voice. He hasn’t felt so interested even attracted to someone in really long time. Sam freezes by the bookshelf by the thought of being attracted. _No, no, no, I really like him because he is interesting and nice and he has the most beautiful blue eyes and the thickest lips that… I wouldn’t mind to taste and suck on to… shit, shut up._ Sam shakes his head and finishes the shelf fast, moving on something else. Maybe he better watches a movie and distract. The weather is just bad and no one is on the streets or coming to the bookstore. There are few teens who are just sitting on the soft fluffy balls in the reading section but they look so swallowed by their books that Sam doesn’t think they will need him.

‘He didn’t respond, did he?’ Gabriel suddenly sits on the counter and almost makes Sam jump in surprise.

‘What?’ Sam frowns.

‘You kissed him and he didn’t respond, and now you question your life and choices.’   

‘Noo, this is not what happened.’ Sam protests, talking slow enough for Gabriel to understand him and not sound suspicious.

‘Oh… you wanted to kiss him but he broke to you he is married and-‘

‘Gabe, I told you he is bi, single and a teacher. He is not married, or in relationship.’

‘And you want him so badly.’

‘No, he is a friend.’

‘Who you dated twice.’ Gabriel just continues teasing him.

‘We haven’t dated. We just had a coffee once, and breakfast’

‘And you are in deep crush with him now.’

‘No, I’m not.’ Sam keeps protesting, feeling his face turning red and also getting mad with Gabe. He is such an awful teaser and Sam has never been mad with him for real, not even this time. He just feels weird when someone is right about his feelings and decisions. It’s weird when he can’t admit to himself the things his friends and family are seeing.

‘That’s why you’ve been so quiet all day, because you are so freaking happy.’ Gabe’s sarcasm almost makes Sam throw a fist at him.

‘He doesn’t want to see me, okay? It’s over.’ He explains and leaves the desk, going to the back of the bookstore where no one can see him.

He doesn’t realize when his eyes well up with tears. He wipes them fast and tries to calm down. It’s just funny and pathetic to feel like that towards someone he has just met.

But at the moment he doesn’t care about anything else but to spend some time with the handsome man with the blue eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

The following day is not better. Well, at least it’s not raining and Sam found amazing new fantasy novel that gets his full attention. Gabriel surprises him with tickets for the baseball match that weekend. Sam makes it clear it’s not a date. Gabriel uses the moment to brag with his new girlfriend. Sam is really surprised actually.

‘Thought you liked guys.’

‘Sam, dear Sam, I like you, really. You are and exception. I wouldn’t mind to try you as a boyfriend. But chicks are my life.’

‘How is she like?’

‘Animal in bed’ Gabriel laughs mischievously and Sam rolls his eyes.

‘No, really, do you like her?’

‘We banged few times, and we are still dating so yes I guess.’

Sam shakes his head and hands Gabriel a box of books. ‘Stock that and shut up.’

‘Roger that, boss’

Sam returns to his book and doesn’t feel when another hour passes and his stomach starts growling with hunger. He doesn’t pay much attention yet. Probably will wait Gabriel to finish at the back and call him for lunch.  

‘Hello.’ Deep voice interrupts Sam’s thoughts and he lifts head up to meet the most beautiful blue eyes and a shy smile.

‘Cas?’ Sam gasps and stares in total surprise. Castiel looks different, fresher and relaxed. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Well’ Castiel looks over the desk, feeling somehow judged by Sam ‘I have some free classes and I have nothing to do in the school during that time so I decided to see you.’ Castiel looks at Sam with the edge of his eye and continued ‘We have no time to meet this week so I thought I can invite you for lunch now.’  

‘Okay.’ Sam almost falls off his chair as he hurries to stand up but suddenly gets embarrassed. He is too excited and needy, it’s not a good impression. ‘I mean, I would love to have a lunch with you, I’m starving already.’

Castiel smiles wide and fails to hide the pink on his cheeks. If Sam only knew how adorable he is in Castiel’s eyes and the teacher is as happy to have lunch with him as Sam is.

‘Give me a minute’ Sam leaves his book, locks the cash machine and runs to Gabriel ‘He invited me for lunch.’

‘Who?’ Gabriel frowns and lifts up the empty box.

‘Castiel’ Sam grins. Gabriel stands and stares him.

‘What the hell you are still doing here? Go!’ he almost yells and startles Sam.

‘Right.’ Sam pats Gabe’s back and runs back to Castiel ‘Shall we go?’

 

Before they order Sam asks if it’s okay if they pay separate this time and Castiel agrees. He admits he has been a bit in the red lately and Sam immediately insists to pay for both of them.

‘Sam, it’s okay, I can pay for my own food.’

‘Alright, then.’ Sam sits back calmly.

‘I’m sorry that I invited you and dropped you I can’t pay-‘

‘Cas, it’s okay. I’m just happy we have a chance to have some time together.’ Sam leans back on the table.

Cas expression is thankful towards Sam’s understanding and his insides warm up when Sam smiles at him not breaking eye contact. The waitress comes and takes their order.

‘You said you are busy this week.’ Cas gets interested.

‘Yes, there is ‘Meeting with the writer’, you know, a famous writer chose our bookstore to present his new novel and meet his fans. The boss will come and Gabe and I have to make sure everything is perfect.’

‘Sounds a bit stressing.’

‘Just a little bit. We haven’t had anything like that in 2 months and it’s good for our bookstore. More people will come and buy books and give us their money.’

‘Is money the most important thing to you, Sam.’ The question comes a bit by surprise and Sam worries if being judged about it.

‘No, money is not the most important thing. Of course it’s better when you have financial stability, being sure you have extra money for extreme situations you can’t predict. But you know, I have to sell books so we cover our expenses and just keep the store open and have a job.’

‘You like working there?’

‘Yes, really much. It’s not nerve-wrecking, I can read books all day. I don’t win that much to call myself rich but as a single guy with a dog I don’t spend that much.’

Castiel listens to him with interest. When the waitress brings them their lunch, Sam stops talking and realizes. ‘Sorry, I talk too much sometimes.’ He looks down at his food.

‘It’s okay. That’s what we should do - get to know each other better. Besides, I like listening to your voice.’

Sam laughs shortly and scratches his neck, flattered and shy by Castiel’s compliments.

‘Great then. I like to listen to you too. So come on, talk.’

‘About what?’ Cas tilts his head in the most adorable and challenging way.

‘Anything you feel comfortable with.’ Sam shrugs. ‘You always wanted to be a teacher?’

‘Honestly, no.’ Cas smiles ‘I wanted something more dynamic and with adrenaline – like climbing, wrestling’ He pauses, thinking what else.

‘Really?’ Sam’s brows shot to his forehead.

‘Cross my heart. But as I grew up I realized that if I want stable life and chance to support family I need a better job. And here I am. I was 24 when I started working in that school.’

’10 years already?’

‘Yes, I like to teach the new generation. I teach them about life, not only religion.’

‘Great to hear it. Kids and teens these days need that. Since I work in the bookstore I have kicked out at least 20 teenagers. I hate bullies, especially boys.’ Castiel looks at him in confused surprise. ‘Some boys were chasing girls and they were coming in the bookstore for help. They trusted me and Gabe to protect them. I turned out many coffee invitations after that.’

‘Because you don’t like boobs.’ Cas chuckles and Sam laughs shortly again.

‘Mostly because of that. They wanted to try their luck with the sexy dude with the muscles.’

‘You call yourself the sexy dude?’

‘No, I- Yeah, I mean some days I really think I am… but some days I hate myself.’

‘I’m not judging you for your self confidence. I think it’s sexy to have it and… I do think you are sexy.’

‘You are so openly flirting with me right now.’ Sam blushes, butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

‘Well, maybe I am.’ Castiel laughs with him. They are both surprised at the lack of tension. Since their first coffee that one afternoon they feel really happy to see each other and need to see each other more often. The being interested in each other feels so good.

‘So… how’s Harley?’  Cas tries t change the subject before things get too awkward.

‘Do you miss him?’ Sam smirks and takes another bite from his steak.

‘No’ Cas shakes head but he notices he might have offended Sam. ‘Okay, I admit, maybe just a little bit. I’m even thankful he jumped on me. Otherwise I wouldn’t have met you.’

Sam looks up at him again and tries not to grin with happiness.

‘I will tell him you asked about him. I think he wants to see you again.’

‘Maybe someday we will meet again.’ Castiel tries to sound optimistic about it but Sam notices he is not burning with excitement for that to happen. Since that day in the park Sam wants to know what’s with Cas and dogs with Cas and dogs but decides to leave that subject for some other time.

‘After such meal I wish I could take a nap.’ Sam rubs his belly once they are finished and the bill is paid.

‘I agree’ Cas closes his eyes for a moment and smiles ‘I like to take naps too.’

‘Maybe we could nap together sometime.’ Sam offers and laughs, and after that realizes how stupid and naïve it sounds.

‘I vote with _yes’_ Cas chuckles and looks at his wrist watch. Sam is about to blabber out something that may or may not has a meaning of them having a date when Cas hurries ‘Shit, I don’t want to get late for school.’

‘Yes, I have to go too’ Sam sighs and follows Cas outside.

‘Call me?’ Cas turns to him ‘Let’s go out again next week.’

‘S-sure, yes. I’m on.’ Sam grins and hides his hands in his pockets.

‘Great. Good luck in the bookstore.’

‘Thanks. Have a nice week, Cas.’

When Sam gets back to the bookstore he just can’t sit on one place. He barely contains himself from smiling wide. Gabriel stares at him for sometimes and shakes his head knowingly.

‘You really like him.’

‘Shut up, Gabe.’ Sam murmurs and blushes again.


	7. Chapter 7

The weekend has amazing warm weather. Sam starts a big cleaning in his apartment and goes shopping after lunch with Harley. Sam’s good mood definitely reflect on his dog and they are both all cheer and Sam’s doesn’t stop humming some songs that have stuck in his mind since the morning.

Because the awful weather the previous days Harley was really irritated, but now when Sam finally walks him to his favourite places they feel like friends again. Harley pulls Sam behind that bush again and Sam grins wide when he remembers what happened sometime ago right on that spot. Harley sniffs the area and comes to Sam who kneels down and lets Harley lick him.

‘Do you miss him? I may bring him home soon, what do you think?’ Harley barks and licks him again ‘Oh, yes, good boy’ Sam laughs and ties him back on the leash.

They go to meet Gabriel and his girlfriend at the baseball match. Sam is both surprised and not when he meets Kelly - one head above Gabriel, long blond hair, G cup, and slim waist, big white smile and big blue eyes. Her shirt is tiny, cut above the belly button. Sam checks her out, only because it’s really interesting and smiles.

‘Who’s a good boy?’ Kelly kneels down to pet Harley and Gabriel gets a look of her buttcrack.

‘Is she legal?’ Sam asks quietly.

‘Turned 22 one week ago.’ Gabriel winks ‘Babe, let’s go inside. The game is starting.’

‘Baseball.’ Kelly cheers and Gabriel chuckles.

Sam stands a bit shocked behind them for few seconds and finally shakes his head, accepting the picture and moving on. Knowing Gabriel he shouldn’t be that surprised by the choice of a lady.

Gabriel leads them to their seats and Sam ties Harley to the bench. Poor boy lies down under the shadow to take a long nap. Sam drinks from his water to cool down after running with Harley. The game starts really well and it takes just 10 minutes for Sam to realize that Kelly has no idea of baseball but her enthusiasm is impressive.

Not long later Kelly and Gabriel whisper something to each other, giggling and kissing softly.

‘Hey, Sam. Kelly wants to ask you something.’

‘Alright.’

‘N-no, you ask him.’ Kelly giggles again and snuggles in Gabriel’s shoulder.

‘Alright.’ Gabriel squeezes Kelly’s leg and turns to Sam ‘Kelly invites you to join us in a threesome.’

Sam chokes for a moment and turns to look at them. Kelly’s eyes are sparkling with curiosity and Gabriel shrugs as if saying _I don’t mind._

 _‘_ I think you are sexy and good enough to join us. Well‘ Kelly giggles ‘not as sexy as my honeyboo, but still’

Sam licks his lips and swallows, thinking how to gently decline the offer.

‘Kelly, this is uumm… flattering and nice of you to invite me but- I’m not really comfortable and interested.’

‘Okay.’ She smiles and turns back to the game, cheering to whichever team is winning.

‘Sugarpants’ Gabe squeezes Kelly’s leg again and she turns to him ‘Will you please get daddy some candy?’

‘Yes’ Kelly nods enthusiastically and Gabe gives her few dollars.

‘Buy my friend something too.’

‘Oh, please, there is no need.’ Sam protests.

‘I insist’ Gabe slaps Kelly’s butt when she leaves the seat and she squeaks and giggles. When she disappears Gabe sighs ‘I love that woman.’

‘I see’ Sam suppresses a laugh, trying not to judge his friend.

‘Maybe I will marry her one day.’

‘This is something new and unexpected.’

‘Sam, Sam, Sam. She is the best. She cooks like my mother. She bakes better than my grandmother, and you know how much I love sweet things. She doesn’t complain and she is always in mood for sex. Did you even look at her? That body, and the tricks she knows.’ Gabe makes hissing appreciative sound. ‘As I said, she is perfect.’

‘If that’s your choice.’

‘And when am I going to meet your man?’ Gabriel pokes Sam’s shoulder.

‘He is not ‘my man’. Sam smiles and looks back at the field, feeling the hotness creeping up his neck.

‘It’s time you got in relationship, Sam. Ask him on a date.’

‘I don’t know if it is too early.’ Sam admits and bites his lip.

‘I knew it you like him so much. It’s not too early, Sam. Go for it.’

‘He was openly flirting with me.’

Gabriel’s mouth starts gapping and Sam looks at him worried if he is chocking.

‘What the hell you are waiting for? I’m pretty sure he is masturbating while thinking about you.’

‘Gabe…’ Sam hides face in his hands totally embarrassed but also curious if Cas is actually doing that and makes him blush even harder. ‘Fine, if I ask him on a date, will you shut up?’

Gabe smirks and leans back in his seat pretending to lock his squeezed lips.

Sam is too excited and nervous to eat the peanuts Kelly brings him so he saves them in his pocket. He plays in his head different speeches of how to ask Cas on a date and what to say it doesn’t work out. He is too swallowed by his own thoughts that he misses the end of the game and snaps back to it when Kelly starts screaming and cheering for the win.


	8. Chapter 8

Sunday night, after one hour of pacing up and down the room, thinking his words over and over again, Sam finally picks up the phone and dials the number. Harley rests on Sam’s lap, encouraging him. The signal is free for longer than Sam expects. He feels both relived and worried. His mouth goes dry and his stomach clenches when Cas finally picks up.

_‘Hello!’_

_‘_ Cas, hi, it’s Sam.’

 _‘I know.’_ Sam can see the Cas smiling against the speaker.

‘I promised to call.’

_‘And I’ve been waiting. Sorry I answered so slow, I’m just getting out of the bathroom.’_

Sam’s hand stills in Harley’s fur as he imagines something inappropriate and licks his lips, feeling his skin getting hotter.

‘So you are not wearing anything?’ Sam’s voice reaches lower octave and he covers his mouth after realizing what he has just said.

Castiel smirks and lays in his bed with hand on his chest ‘No… just the towel around my thighs.’

Sam swallows, his face already on fire ‘Uumm, Cas, I called to ask you something.’

 _‘Yes, Sam’_ Cas voice pours soft and prepossessing, making Sam feel comfortable to speak.

‘Would you like to go out on a date with me? Tomorrow night maybe?’ 

Castiel bites his lip and slides hand through his wet black hair. _‘Yes, Sam. Yes, I would love to go out on a date with you. I will come and take you at 8.’_

‘B-but I thought-‘ Sam is suddenly confused.

_‘I know you invite me but I’m bigger than you and I want to come and take you. We can go watch a movie’_

‘I’m totally on. Good things are playing in the cinema recently. We can… maybe come over my place after that.’

_‘S-sure, yes, we can.’_

‘Cas I mean… we don’t have to … do anything if you know what I mean. I’m just inviting you over-‘

 _‘See how things will roll after that.’_ Castiel finishes Sam’s thought and the man smiles.

‘Yes. You know, Cas… I really like it how well we understand each other. How we know what the other is thinking.’

 _‘I think that can make us the prefect couple._ ’ By the last word Sam’s stomach does a black flip with happiness. 

‘I hope so.’ Sam worries for a moment his voice is too shaky with excitement.  ‘Good night, Cas, see you tomorrow.’

_‘Good night, Sam.’_

Sam leaves the phone and goes to open the window, inhaling the cool air from outside, letting it caress soothingly his hot skin. Besides, he feels his pants trying to tend up inappropriately with a pale imagine of Cas in a tallow parading in front of him. Harley lets a curious whimper, staring at Sam from his spot on the couch.

‘What? You jealous I will probably get laid? That I found a mate while you don’t have one?’ 

Sam can swear that Harley growls and rests head irritated back on the couch.

‘Don’t judge me, you jumped on him.’ Sam laughs and goes to the kitchen. 


	9. Chapter 9

Sam takes Harley on a morning walk the following day. The man can’t stop smiling and can’t wait for the end of the day when his date is going to pick him up. It’s been so long since the last time he was on a date and it wasn’t that interesting. With Cas it is different. Sam is comfortable with him and he is only worrying not to scare him with too much excitement. But Castiel is as excited as Sam is.

Sam takes Harley back home and pets him.

‘I want you to be a good boy, and don’t make any mess, okay?’

Harley licks his face and starts eating from the full bowl. Sam locks his apartment and goes to the bookstore.

The day is really nice and warm. You can already tell that the summer will settle down in some time. The bookstore hasn’t been empty since the ‘Meeting with the writer’. Sam has to assist many customers in finding what they look for. Thank god he is familiar with a big part of the books. Some people just have no idea what they are looking for.

‘Do you have ‘The Kill of the Bird?’

Sam blinks at the woman, around her 50s and asks again what is she looking for. She repeats the same thing.

‘The kill of the Bird? You are working here, how can you not know it?’

‘Do you mean, ‘To Kill a Mockingbird?’

‘That’s what I’m saying young man. Do you have it or I have to walk my old legs to the other bookstore.’

‘We have it. Wait a moment.’ Sam stands from behind the desk and goes to take a copy for her, and he is totally done. He doesn’t send Gabriel only because he doesn’t want to spend extra time with that woman that seems wasn’t good in school back in her time. Sam brings her the book and she pays, her little black, pocket-size dog making those tiny whimpering sounds that are probably barks.

‘What’s the name of that mouse?’ Sam looks at the woman sarcastically and hands her the paper bag with the book.

‘It’s a dog.’ The woman protests offended and snatches the book from his hands ‘Incompetence.’ She snarls and leaves the bookstore fast.

Sam blinks and sighs. If he has to deal with such more customers for the rest of the day he will let a bookshelf fall over him.

‘Come on, spit it out.’ Gabriel sits on the desk when the bookstore is finally empty around lunch.

‘What?’ Sam is too concentrated on counting money.

‘There is only one reason for you to be happy and it’s named Castiel.’ Gabe grins.

Sam sighs and looks up at him.

‘Yesterday you promised me to shut up if I asked him on a date right?’ Gabe nods ‘Well, shut up, Gabe.’

‘Whoa-ho-ho, so you DID ask him on a date?’ Gabe voice echoes through the bookstore, his face lightened up.

‘Yes, yes I did. Tonight.’

‘It was about time. So what’s the plan?’

‘He will take me on a movie. And then I will take him home.’

‘You are going all the way so fast? I can give you a piece of advice.’

‘No, Gabe. We are not planning to- We will see. We don’t know.’ Sam looks at Gabe and the man sees that Sam is really serious this time.

‘Tell you what – be yourself. Just go with the flow. Make sure you are both comfortable with anything you do. Is your place cleaned up, is the bedroom nice?’

‘It’s usually clean but I think I had to do more in the weekend.’

‘I will close the store today. You will leave earlier to clean up good, take a shower and impress Castiel.’

‘I think I already did.’

‘And what, you can look like a pig from now on? No, you have to be impressive all the time.’

‘But you said to be myself.’

‘Exactly. Yourself is not a pig.’

Sam doesn’t want to fight with Gabriel’s logic and just agrees with everything. He has forgotten how many things he has to look after while preparing for a date. From 4 to 6 he manages to walk Harley again and clean the bedroom and the living room which are the most possible one to visit later the night. He washes the dishes and buys drinks and sweets in case they want to get a treat. From the bottom of the shopping bag he takes out a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. He had hesitated long back in the shop but finally had decided to take them. Better prepared and not used than needing it but not having it. He hides them in the drawer of his nightstand, more or less hoping to get that far, but also not wanting to scare Cas with hurrying or worse – making him think Sam is using him.     

20 to 8pm Castiel rings on the door and Harley starts barking making the man step back a bit, alarmed by it. Inside, Sam freezes at his spot as Harley goes and scratches at the door. _He is here,_ Sam thinks and suddenly he becomes nervous. Somehow, knowing that they are going on a date and not just hanging out makes him panic. One word can make a lot of difference.  

‘Stay boy.’ Sam catches Harley’s collar and pulls him away from the door. He takes a breath, unlocks the door and smiles at Cas ‘Hi.’

‘Good evening, Sam. Hello Harley.’ Cas smiles back and looks at the dog that is trying to sniff Cas, but not leaving Sam’s side. As long as Harley is not getting any closer, Cas is okay. ‘We have 20 minutes before the movies starts-‘

‘Yes, we are going.’ Sam nods fast and pushes Harley farther inside. ‘Be a good boy.’ He scratches him fast and takes the keys. Cas steps away to give Sam space to walk out and lock the door. 


	10. Chapter 10

They talk and laugh on the way to the cinema. Sam makes stupid jokes and panics when he realizes how ridiculous he sounds but then Cas starts laughing and hangs on Sam’s arm. And if it’s not sending warm waves all over Sam’s body. The sunset catches beautifully in Sam’s locks, making the lines of his face even sharper in a way that makes Cas want to pepper it with kisses. And Sam notices how darker Castiel’s eyes are getting, a bit like a sky before storm and the man wants so badly to get lost into it.

Sam buys the tickets for the movie and Cas buys them popcorn, candies and soda. They find their seats, at the back of the hall. They settle down and Cas shoves a handful of popcorn in Sam’s mouth. The man is surprised at first but starts laughing and trying not to spit it all out. Cas warns him not to choke and takes out a wet napkin to clean his fingers and Sam’s mouth. Sam tries to tickle him and they make a bit of noise.

The lights lower down slowly and the hall goes quiet. Sam and Cas make each other hush and relax in their seats. The movie is a comedy and somehow it’s even funnier when they are together. Few times Sam bursts in full laughter that attracts some people’s attention and Cas shoots his hand to cover his mouth. Not that he wants to hush him because Sam’s laughter is one of the best sounds he has ever heard and makes his heart flutter.

10 minutes after such extreme laughter Sam can’t really understand a scene from the movie so he leans to ask Cas what happened while he was laughing. Cas leans closer too and stars whispering. Sam observes him carefully, notices how his lips move with the words and meanwhile Sam slowly slides his hand over Castiel’s and twines gently their fingers together. Castiel’s words trail off when he realizes what happens and looks at their fingers and at Sam’s sparkling eyes and concentrated on him face. Cas tries not grin like an idiot and keep talking as his stomach fills up with butterflies and feels again like a teenager, only that he can’t remember feeling so excited back then. But he manages to finish his thoughts.

‘Got it.’ Sam whispers and straightens his back. Cas does it too and squeezes Sam’s fingers between his, letting Sam rub his skin gently.

They don’t pay attention to the movie, too distracted by the firm touch of press of their hands, giving each other glances.

Nine-thirty the movie is over.

‘Ready to go?’ Sam sips the last from his soda and stands up to stretch his stiffed limbs.

‘Yes, let’s go.’ Cas nods and stands up too, taking the rest of the candies and the popcorn and following the other people out of the hall. Sam follows him really close from behind, hands on Castiel’s shoulders, a lot like what couples do and Cas can’t help a smile.

‘Do you still want to come over my place?’ Sam asks when they are finally out. Cas turns to face him and twines fingers with his.

‘Definitely.’

‘Let’s go.’ Sam grins, squeezes Cas’ fingers harder, heading home.

* * *

 

Harley hears a jingle of keys and shots head up with a quiet whine, from his spot under the window. Then he hears Sam’s specific voice timbre and runs to the door wagging tail and scratching with a paw.

‘Hey, boy.’ Sam coos and drops the keys on their place by the door, coming to the center of the room and scratching Harley who seems really happy to see his owner ‘I missed you too buddy.’ Sam throws a look over shoulder ‘Please, come in, Cas. Make yourself home.’

Cas steps in and closes the door behind. He takes off his jacket, keeps an eye on the dog as Sam calms him down and looks around. The living room is really big. It has a big couch, a big TV with a DVD player, bookshelf with books and magazines, desk with computer and other office supplies, the windows are big throughout the entire wall and it definitely lets through a lot of light. Cas stops by a big shelf with carefully lined up awards from dog competitions.

‘Are those all yours?’ He asks with unhidden surprise.

‘All Harley’s. I only helped him get them.’ Sam grins. There are 3 first place cups, 2 second place cups and 3 third place cups, also few medals for participations.

‘You never told me about that.’

‘I don’t like to brag. Besides, I didn’t think you’ll be interested. ‘You want something sweet and drink?’

‘Yes, I wouldn’t mind.’ Sam goes to the kitchen to take some chocolate cake and Champaign.

When Cas turns around to go to the couch he directly faces Harley. The dog really much wants to greet Cas – wagging tail, sniffing him and trying to get closer but Cas steps back and literally tries to climb on the desk backwards. Harley is not afraid to approach and sniff at Cas, but he slowly starts to panic, eyes going wide, breathing faster, chanting Sam’s name too quiet for him to hear. Harley is not small and it’s part of what scares Cas.

‘Go away.’ Cas hisses at him, able to hear his own heartbeat.

Harley wags his tail and starts barking playfully at Cas and jumping around, hoping Cas will play with him. The blood leaves Castiel’s face and his stomach flips, flinching at every bark.

‘SAM’ He finally finds voice to yell and the other man runs to the living room in panic.

‘Down boy.’ He commands and leaves the glasses and the bottle of Champaign on the coffee table. He walks around the couch and pulls Harley by the collar ‘What are you doing, huh?’ his voice is a bit rough and angry, and although the god hasn’t done anything, it lowers its tail and looks at Sam with puppy eyes. Sam takes him fast to the kitchen and runs back to Cas. Sam just then sees how scared Cas looks. Sam holds his waist and carefully helps him get down from the desk.

‘Are you okay?’ He asks softly, hunching to reach Cas’ height and look at his face. Cas takes a shaky breath and he is suddenly hanging on Sam’s neck. Instinctively, Sam hugs him back, arm around his waist and large warm palm pressing between his shoulder blades. For a first time their bodies press close to each other, it feels relaxing and right and they stay like that, in silence. Sam feels Cas’ warm breath on his shoulder.

‘Come here, it’s okay.’

Sam pulls him to the couch and sits them down, Cas avoiding eye contact. Sam doesn’t need to be a genius to know something is wrong. He knew something was wrong since the day Harley jumped on Castiel in the park and all those moments when Cas was staying away from Harley. Cas doesn’t say a word. Sam pours him some Champaign and serves it to Cas.

‘I opened that at the meeting few days ago and no one drank from it but it’s still good.’

Cas carefully wraps fingers around the tall glass and takes a little sip, relaxing a bit. Sam sits more comfortable and carefully takes Cas’ fingers in between his. Cas looks at him shortly with shame.

‘I’m sorry for ruining the night.’

‘No, no, don’t say that. Nothing bad happened. You are not hurt.’

‘You probably think I hate your dog.’ Cas says quietly and if Sam is not holding his hands that firmly he could have pulled away.

‘N-no, I don’t think you hate Harley. He likes you really much, he is a good dog. But Cas-‘

Cas tries to look at him, not really successful.

‘I think it’s time you told me what’s wrong. Harley-I love him more than anything. And i… I like you really much and I think it’s clear for both of us that things are probably-‘

‘Getting serious?’

Sam squeezes his lips and nods ‘So we should talk more, know more about each other and I really, really want to know what’s the problem between you and Harley and how we can work it out.‘

‘It’s not just Harley. It’s with all dogs.’ Cas sighs and sits more comfortable too, looking straight at Sam. ‘I like Harley really much. He is impressive dog. But I can’t- stay around any dog. Do you want to know my story?’

‘I really much want to know. If we are getting into something and it involves my dog, I want to know.’ Sam insist, confused and interested, holding Castiel’s hands for encouragement.

‘Alright.’ Castiel takes a breath and looks at Sam while talking in his deep voice ‘I was 14 and went to meet my little sister Anna after school. Of course we followed the same road everyday and we never had any problems. There were a few dogs following her and she was getting scared. I ran to her, wrapped hands around her and made her walk faster towards home with me. The dogs got violent and I told her to run and call for help because I could sense what was going to happen. Unfortunately I was right. I tried to run but the dogs had decided I was dangerous and attacked me from behind. I don’t know what had provoked them but I couldn’t stand up. I started yelling for help and throwing punches at the animals but it irritated them even more.’

He pauses and takes another breath. Sam notices he struggles to say it out loud and rubs his hands gently.

‘Then what, Cas?’ he prompts quietly.

‘Claws and sharp teeth sank in my flesh.’ Castiel’s eyes get somehow blank, and Sam can tell he is replaying it in his mind ‘I started screaming as the dogs were eating me alive, I tried to fight them back but I was getting weaker. I was screaming for help loud enough to rip my own vocal chords, shaking, bleeding out on the pavement. The pain, the panic, the loss of blood… I don’t know when I lost consciousness.’

Sam is staring, goose bumps pricking his skin, feeling his heart raising its beating.

‘I woke up on the next day. And I thought it was all a dream until I realized I was in hospital, bandaged from my chest to my toes. The morphine had numbed the pain and I saw my mom by the bed, holding my bandaged hand, silent tears streaming down her face. She forced to smile at me and tell me I’m okay, but I was already crying and calling her.’

Castiel’s eyes glistens with tears, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he tries to keep talking.

‘I couldn’t feel any part of my body. I couldn’t move. Bruised, scared… I lay in hospital for 2 weeks. Every bite, every scratch was deep and painful. I had nightmares almost every night, waking up in sweat, screaming and calling mom over and over again. We had to be moved to separate room because of that. Before we were signed out the doctor admitted that I could have died and that they needed to make a transfusion of blood because I had lost a lot.’ Cas sighs and wipes his tears, voice coming firmer and more confident ‘Since then I have utter terror of dogs that are bigger than a pocket size. Even if I know they won’t hurt me, I still can’t let them near me.’

Sam’s throat aches with the tears he is trying to keep inside. He finally understands Castiel’s behavior. Everything gets so clear once he knows the awful truth.

‘I’m sorry.’ He finally says and Castiel looks at him confused. ‘I was so ignorant. If I only knew- I wouldn’t let you go through this all, Cas, I’m so sorry.’

‘No, there is nothing you should be sorry for.’ Castiel finds Sam’s words ridiculous. ‘There was no way you could know and you didn’t do anything. Harley is just friendly. It’s my problem I have a reaction to keep away.’

‘You have the full right to be like that. You had been so strong, Cas.’

Castiel smiles through his own teary eyes and brushes Sam’s cheeks with fingers and Sam goes on fire. It’s sweet and soft and beyond friendly because Cas applies such intimate motion into it.

‘I don’t want to see you crying because of me.’

‘Thinking you could had died makes me lose my mind.’ Sam’s voice is close to a whisper.  

‘It was long time ago and we didn’t even know each other.’

‘But I know you now. And I can’t imagine you in pain-’ Sam’s face wrinkles with sorrow, trying to find the best words to explain his feelings.

He doesn’t catch himself blabbering again, making almost no sense until Cas holds on his shirt as he leans closer and presses lips into Sam’s. It’s not perfect, it’s surprising, noses bumped together funnily, eyes closed and sitting in complete silence that none of them wants to break. There is nothing to think about. Sam’s face relaxes; feeling Cas’ warmth; full lips firmly pressed to his and his brain is catching up slowly. Cas can’t think of anything else but Sam’s wet lips and for how long he hasn’t kissed anyone. He wants more, he needs more, he needs Sam, his skin, his breath, his voice and eyes, _he needs…_

Barely, their lips detach without a sound, and there is a feeling of loss. They are both breathing heavier than expected. Their warm breaths mix, inhaled by both of them and their eyes finally meet when Cas pulls back little more.

‘I said not to worry. We are here and now, Sam. And I’m enjoying it.’

Sam nods, eyes darting between Castiel’s eyes and his lips and the blush slowly starts crawling up to his cheeks and he needs, Castiel knows it too, still keeping his lips in offer, hand grasping on Sam’s shirt, and the other hand he slides over Sam’s forearm. Sam just knows. His hands find their way around Cas’ waist and tilts his head a bit to kiss Cas properly. He leans farther and Cas holds on Sam’s shoulders. The kiss deepens, Cas’ bottom lip between Sam’s and then it’s Sam’s lip between Castiel’s all gentle and shy, as if trying for a first time. Cas needs, however, he combs fingers through Sam’s bangs, to keep the hair off their faces and pushes harder to his lips, darting tongue out and licking at Sam’s lips and he eagerly opens up and gives Cas access. It’s wet and hot and more intimate than anything else they did before, and it slowly burns its way from their mouths down and down and down… As their tongues collide, Cas tastes like Champaign and Sam like the chocolate frosting he tried from the chocolate cake. Sam’s strong arms try to pull Cas closer to his body and _lord_ Cas lets him. Their breathing gets heavier and if Sam is not thinking they will end up naked on that very couch. Sam realizes how much he has crushed on Castiel since the first time they had coffee. And Cas’ holding on him like that, trying to kiss him as deep and hot as possible, he is pretty sure the teacher is as desperate for him as Sam is.

Harley approaches them and nudges Castiel’s thigh for attention. The man jumps in surprise and turns to look at the dog and Sam’s mouth bumps in Castiel’s jaw.  He needs a moment to understand what is going on and keeps his arms tight around Cas.

‘Hey, it’s okay. Don’t be afraid.’ He catches Harley’s collar and pulls him on his side so it can’t reach Castiel. The man keeps his eyes on the dog, curled up to Sam’s side.

‘I’m sorry… it’s a defensive reaction.’

‘I understand, come here.’ Sam helps Cas to throw his legs over Sam’s lap. Holding Harley by the collar, Sam takes on of Castiel’s hands and slowly pulls it towards the dog.

‘Sam-‘ Cas tries to pull back and curls fingers in Sam’s hand, but Sam’ squeezes him back hard and doesn’t let him escape.

‘Do you trust me?’ He looks Cas straight in his pupil-blown eyes.

‘Of course I trust you, Sam.’

‘Then relax.’ Sam’s voice comes soothing to Cas’ and he doesn’t tear his eyes off the man.

Slowly, carefully, Sam uncurls Castiel’s fingers and pulls his hand closer to Harley’s head who keeps still like a good dog. Castiel struggles to keep his eyes on Sam’s. He wants to look, he wants to make sure it’s really safe. But he said he trusts Sam. Sam won’t put him in pain. Harley is not going to hurt him and he repeats that again and again. His fingers sink in Harley’s fur, and his breath ceases in his lungs but doesn’t break eye contact with Sam. His hand gets trapped between Sam’s warm palm and Harley’s head. Sam smiles and Cas finds himself petting a dog for a first time in 20 years. He finally looks down and sees Harley just sitting there with head offered for a scratch, and closed eyes. And Cas keeps stroking his soft fur, scratching a bit behind its ear and his eyes fill with tears of joy. He is petting a dog.

‘Well done. I’m proud of you.’ Sam praises him quietly and kisses his temple softly.

When Cas pulls his hand away, Harley lifts his head back up and wags his tail. He tries to get closer to Cas and lick him but Sam catches his snout in his large palm.

‘Enough for today, Harley. We don’t want to make Cas any more uncomfortable.’ Harley whines low and tries to pull away from Sam but his owner won’t let go. Harley uses a paw to press at Sam’s wrist and pull harder and Cas starts laughing followed by Sam’s low chuckle. When Harley finally gets free, he seems offended and goes to lie down on his spot under the window, next to the TV. Still holding on each other, Sam turns to look at Cas again ‘We still have chocolate cake.’

Cas pecks his lips and smiles ‘Yes, please.’

After Sam serves them cake and more Champaign, they cuddle up on the couch like earlier. Sam plays a late comedy talk show on TV. Cas surprises Sam with a forkful of chocolate frosting right in his mouth. Sam eats it all and doesn’t break eye contact when he sips from his glass.

‘Want some cake with the Champaign?’

‘Yes, please.’ Cas leaves his glass and settles hands on the sides of Sam’s neck, pulling closer and taking his bottom lip in between his. They both open up at the same time, chocolate tongue pressing at Champaign-soaked one, and the mix is sweet, electrifying.

‘Cas’ Sam whispers between kisses.

‘Yes, Sam.’ Cas combs his fingers through his hair again.

‘Maybe you could stay here tonight. My bed is big enough.’ Sam is breathless, and Cas is so heated up under his fingers and he needs.

Cas pulls back and sighs brushing a thumb over Sam’s lips ‘Sam-‘ 

‘I’m sorry, I don’t want to sound as if-‘ he starts excusing himself fast and worried he ruined everything ‘I don’t imply anything, I mean, we don’t need to- unless you want…’

‘Sam’ Cas smiles and catches his chin between fingers ‘I would love to stay, and I’m not afraid to share the bed with you. But not tonight. I have school tomorrow and I have to be home at week days.’

‘Yes, you are right, I’m sorry.’

‘There is nothing you should be sorry about.’ Cas pecks him again ‘It’s getting late. I should be going.’

Sam nods and helps him stand up. Sam unlocks the door while Cas dresses up his jacket and puts on his shoes. When he stands up, Sam catches his waist and presses him to the door frame. He smiles and leans down, giving Cas a last soft kiss for the road.

‘Thank you for the amazing night.’

‘Thank you for everything, Sam.’

They stare at each other for some time, hands on each other, unable to let go.

‘I will find some free time to visit you in the bookstore.’

Sam smiles and nods thankfully. Unwillingly they let go of each other and Sam follows with eyes as Cas climbs down the stairs. When he goes back and locks the door he doesn’t clean the table. He wants to leave the memory alive as long as possible. He drops back on the couch where Cas’ smell is still on it, closes eyes and licks lips, still tasting him. One thing Sam knows for sure – things are getting serious.


	11. Chapter 11

If Sam isn’t already excited when he wakes up and finds the unclean table from the previous night. What happened then was totally real and can’t help but smile. The turns on the radio in the kitchen and sings along while preparing breakfast. His good mood reflects on Harley and he jumps on Sam, who catches Harley’s front paws and both dance around the kitchen. They won first place cup once with such dance on one of the dog competitions. Sam volumes up the song and takes Harley’s paws, circling around in a dance. Harley wags his tail and barks high with happiness while Sam sings along with the top of his lungs. He is drunk, and he only wishes it was alcohol so he could wash it with a cup of coffee, but he is drunk in his heart and soul, he is drunk with the pair of blue eyes looking at him in awe, he is drunk with the thick lips he tasted and he doesn’t mind it to drag him down where there is not escape and it’s only him and Castiel. And of course a little spot for Harley.

The grumpy old lady from downstairs uses her broomstick to knock her ceiling – Sam’s floor – and make the man and his dog shut up. He is pretty sure she is up this morning earlier than him but everyone knows she is grumpy and frustrated about everything. Sam rolls his eyes and volumes down the music after the song ends and pours Harley dog food. Sam has always enjoyed radio in the morning instead the morning news on TV that can ruin his mood in the matter of seconds. He is usually so positive about everything while the news is always dark and saddening and more or less makes him sad for having no ability to change it.

Time progresses so Sam hurries to wash his dishes from the breakfast and dress up for work. Nothing special – the clothes from the previous day. His knees go week as he inhales Castiel’s cologne soaked in his shirt. They had cling to each other for so long they had shared cologne smell and makes the previous night even more real and intimate in a different way. Sam tries to help from grinning but he buries his nose in the collar and inhales deeper. It’s like Castiel is next to him and he can’t wait to actually see him again soon.

Sam opens the bookstore this morning. He is smiling like a dork. The regular visitors notice it and find Sam great interlocutor and if someone is grumpy and sad in the morning Sam actually manages to cheer them up with his own happiness without explaining why he is like that. At the same time he wants to tell the whole world about the beautiful teacher with the blue eyes he kissed the previous night. Okay, maybe he had few fantasies with himself as naughty student and Cas as the serious teacher that all made him blush. Although he is certain that no one should be ashamed of their preferences, likes and kinks, more or less he is shy about his imaginations.

‘Hey’a champion. Tell me everything.’ Gabe slams his hands on the counter and makes Sam jump at his spot.

‘Yes, good morning to you too. You are late for your shift.’ Sam shakes head and leaves the book he is reading.

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry. Now tell me – did you crease the bed sheets?’ Gabe wiggles brows.

‘Gabe-‘ Sam sighs.

‘Don’t be embarrassed, come on.’

‘No, we didn’t.’ Sam sighs again and takes up on sorting the postcards from the box. Maybe Gabriel is annoying piece of shit, but honestly, he is one of Sam’s closest friends.

‘Damn, what happened?’ he frowns.

‘A lot of things happened. We just decided not to hurry. I really like him, Gabe. It’s not all about sex.’

‘What if he is ace? You can deal with that?’

‘It doesn’t matter. I mean- even if he doesn’t want intimacy, there are other ways that don’t involve-‘ Sam sighs and continues ‘As I said, I like him no matter what. Besides, I was there last night when his hands and mouth were on me, so I’m pretty sure he is okay with sexual stuff.’

‘So how was the date in general?’

‘Perfect. Calm… if we don’t count his encounter with Harley.’

‘What happened?’

‘Turned out he has awful past with a pack of violent dogs and he can’t stay around them now days.’

‘This gets complicated. Having a dog and a boyfriend that can’t stay around dogs.’

‘I will help him get comfortable with Harley. I don’t want his trauma to stay between us. We will work it out.’

‘Oh… I didn’t know you are in love with him.’ Gabe smirks.

‘I’m not- Gabe, why the hell you thought so? I just like him really much, maybe things between us are going to get deep.’

‘You want to help him, Sam. And you don’t want to give up on neither him nor Harley. Sounds pretty serious to me.’ Gabe winks and steps away to his own business. ‘If you want to help find about PTSD.’

Sam frowns at his last words but takes note.

The following days Sam and Cas can’t meet but they hear over the phone every night, talking about important and not that important stuff. But hearing each others’ voice is soothing, even arousing, but none of them dares to do something sexy on their own. Can’t do such things without permission.

Back in the bookstore Sam finds few books about posttraumatic stress disorder and takes some time to look through the internet for more. It looks like something Castel has since that near death-encounter because the dogs. But still he needs more time with Cas to check up for some more symptoms. He wants to help him but also not make him uncomfortable. And Gabe was right, he is not planning on giving up Cas or Harley. Having dog he loves more than anything is one thing, but needing someone by his side, someone to talk to, someone to share bed with is different thing.

Gabriel gives Sam a flyer with announcement for a dog competition that’s on Saturday. It has been long since Sam has taken part in one and maybe Harley is going to be happy to go back in front of the audience. Sam folds the flyer and puts it in his pocket. He has time to decide.

Around 10am on Thursday Cas comes in the bookstore. No one notices at first, Sam totally into the PTDS book. Cas approaches the counter with a little smile on his face both with excitement and how cute Sam is with his concentrated look. Cas places Starbucks coffee on the counter.

‘Hello, Sam.’

Sam shoots head up to meet Cas’ blue smiling eyes. He shuts the book closed and stands from the chair, probing on elbows over the counter.

‘You came.’

‘I promised.’

Sam looks around fast, making sure no one can see them, then catches Cas’ tie and pulls him closer, kissing his lips softly. ‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you too.’ Cas whispers and brushes fingers over Sam’s cheek, their cheeks turning a little pink. ‘I bought you coffee.’

‘You didn’t have to.’ Sam shakes head and takes the cup in a hand.

‘I know. I just didn’t feel like coming with empty hands’ Cas shrugs and crosses arms on the counter. Sam takes a sip from the coffee and closes eyes.

‘Alright, this is really amazing coffee.’

‘I haven’t tried that one.’ Cas leans forward and takes Sam’s lip in between his, gently searching for access with tongue. Sam grants it and lets their tongues to caress slightly. It feels just about right. As if they know each other for long time and have been together for weeks, when they actually just met nearly 1 month ago. But none of them cares. They feel like an important part of each others’ lives.

‘Come with me.’ Sam breathes out heavily, takes Cas’ hand and drags him around the counter. Cas is surprised and curious of what’s to follow, Sam squeezing his hand like that making him tingle.

The office and also storeroom is not really big, smells like old and new books and paper, and it feels like it’s soundproof. Sam goes in, pulls Cas after him and locks the door. Cas’ heart starts pounding his chest and fire takes over when Sam turns to him and presses him against the door, hands on his neck and waist, body pressing at his and crashing their lips together. Cas grasps on him hard, catches Sam’s hair pulling him down to his height, passionately sharing the sweet warmth from the coffee until it’s there no more. Sam’s hands tug the trench coat off Castiel’s shoulders and they let it fall down, still not breaking the wet kisses, letting quiet moans, their hands pull the shirts out of their pants, desperate to feel skin. Lord, Castiel lets Sam do whatever he wants. He pushes body into his, encouraging him for more. His legs tremble a bit, Sam’s belt and crotch pressing at his belly and abdomen because the height difference. Sam’s all heated up and needy, breathing hot and heavy as his mouth explores Castiel’s. Sam’s fingers find naked skin above Castiel’s belt of his dress pants. He squeezes at the hipbones and drags hp firmly, making Cas groan and lift a bit on his tiptoes, hands in Sam’s hair. They were both fighting their own bodies, wanting the blood to stay in their heads. Better red painting their cheeks than trying to cover a boner for the rest of the day. Cas breaks the kiss to take a breath and rests forehead against Sam’s.

‘I don’t want our first time to be-‘

‘We are not gonna do it here, I promise.’ Sam chuckles, panting slightly ‘I missed you way too much.’

‘I gave few surprising tests so I could have some break and time to think about you.’ Cas caresses Sam’s cheek, closing eyes shortly. He hasn’t even dreamed to visit Sam and end up in a hot tightness with his body and mouth.

‘Aren’t you a Devil behind blue eyes?’ Sam whispers with a smirk, brushing kiss-swollen lips against Castiel’s.

‘Wouldn’t say so. You are more devilish. Locking us in a room, pressing me against a door, seducing me, few days ago asking me if I was wearing anything after shower.’

‘Shit, you remember.’ They both chuckle, Sam’s hands traveling up Castiel’s body ‘Well you can still play God and I can be your Lucifer.’

‘You know he is the one who loved God too much and fell for that.’

‘I know.’ Sam whispers and silences him with another session of deep making out. T

hey are on fire. Their words applied more meaning than they dare to admit, but for that moment they don’t want more words. Sam’s fingers continue tracing Cas’ sides. He slowly feels something weird about his skin. It’s uneven, rough at places, wrinkled. He frowns a bit and forgets to kiss for few seconds, distracted as his fingers start to explore more.

‘Sam’ Castiel’s hands are suddenly gripping his arms to stop him and look at him. ‘I have to go.’

‘Do you really have to?’ Sam takes his hands out from underneath Cas’ shirt.

‘I don’t want to get fired. I shouldn’t be here at first place.’

He hurries to get decent with his clothes and hair, feeling like a teenager again, afraid of getting caught. He wraps himself in the trench coat, avoiding eye contact with Sam who can’t decode his voice and expression. He opens the door and Castiel storms out of the storage room. Sam realizes he fucked up and triggered him somehow. He runs after him, grasping his hand and stopping him by the counter.

‘Hey, hey, Cas wait. Did I do something? I’m sorry.’ His eyes bore into Castiel’s, scared to his mistake.

Cas turns and smiles faintly but honestly. ‘It’s okay. Really. I just don’t want to get late and get any more excited. I still have classes and work at school.’

‘If there’s something, tell me, okay?’

‘Nothing to worry about.’ Cas kisses his cheek fast and turns around to leave.

‘Saturday’ Sam calls and Cas turns to look at him at the door ‘Meet you in the park at 4?’

‘I’ll be there.’ Cas smiles again and leaves.

Sam is relieved that Cas accepted his date invitation, but he’s still uneasy because his reaction back in the storage room. The passion and the mood had disappeared really fast and suddenly Sam feels as nothing really happened. Sam knows they have to work and understands that Castiel’s job is more serious than his own but still he knows he did something that pushed Castiel away and it hurt Sam. He wants things to work and obviously they have to get closer to make it work, take more time for that. But Castiel has to want it too.

‘Whoa, who was that?’ Gabriel appears from between the bookshelves, observing Sam carefully.

‘Cas… he brought coffee.’ Sam explains simply and sits behind the counter, taking the coffee in hand.

‘Why didn’t you present him to me?’ Gabe is offended. ‘Where’s my coffee?’

‘Well he brought only for me. He had to go back to school.’ 

‘Selfish bastards.’ Gabriel murmurs and Sam gives him the bitch face. ‘Whaaat?’

‘You know how it is being in a relationship.’

‘You are in a relationship, huh?’ Gabriel sings and smirks leaning over the counter.

‘We made out… twice.’ Sam murmurs and tries to concentrate back on the PTSD book.

‘That means nothing. People make out and fuck without even knowing each others’ names and leave before sunrise, but they are not in relationship.’

‘What are you suggesting then?’ Sam leaves the book obviously unable to read.

‘Well, suggesting you to make it clear. Change your facebook status.’ Gabriel laughs and Sam shakes head with a smile ‘But seriously. Find a way to ask him.’


	12. Chapter 12

On Saturday, Sam takes Harley on an early morning walk and grocery shopping. When they get back the dog drops on his spot under the window and Sam takes a shower. He prepares 2 meals to that day and Sunday and has lunch with Harley. He spends 2 hours on the phone with his parents who still have some kind of a problem with their neighbor and Sam is trying to help them avoid dealing with police and court. John, his father, wanted to sue the man months ago and Sam had to travel few times to them and talk with them and the crazy neighbor.

‘Yes, dad, I understand.’ Sam repeats again and sighs, tired of listening to that for 2 hours from both John, and his mother Mary.

‘ _That son of a bitch wants us to cut down the old walnut tree.’_  

‘What? I thought he only wanted the new sewer tube.’

‘ _According to him, the tree is dangerous and old and if it starts falling it will fall over his barn in the backyard. And some of the big branches were already cracking and threatening to fall in his yard.’_

‘Feels like he is grumpy, bored, old man. I will come next weekend and see how things are. I have to go now or I will get late for-‘ Sam stutters a bit ‘Harley and I are going on a competition. I will call you when we get home.’

_‘Alright then. Good luck, Sam. I’ll hear you later.’_

‘Bye dad.’

Sam hangs up and hurries to prepare and not get late for the date that he hid from his father. He picks up black skinny jeans, black t-shirt and a plaid shirt. He combs fingers through his hair to put it neatly on place and puts some cologne on his cheeks and neck. Phone, keys, money in his pockets, Harley’s documents in the inside pocket of his jacket, he puts on Harley’s his most beautiful leash and collar and both leave.

They sit on a bench near the bush Sam and Cas met the first time and wait. He smiles every time little kids point at Harley and tell their parents what they are seeing, or crying because they want to pet the doggy and Sam lets them. Maybe he blushes a little when thin chicks around their 20s giggle at the dog and coo how cute Harley is but then looking at Sam and trying to flirt with him. He finds it flattering and amusing, because, hell, no one suspects he plays for the other team, or that he doesn’t care about boobs. He can’t imagine anything better than strong men arms around him, light stubble scratching his skin, deep voice in his ear and thick with testosterone air.

Sam seems Cas approaching and stands up with a bright smile on his face. Cas smiles back and his walking gets a bit funny for a moment. Harley starts to bark happily and tries to run towards Cas and Sam almost trips over him but he holds him back. Harley keeps pulling forward and Cas has frozen away from them, flinching slightly at every bark Harley makes, Cas smile gone, deep crease between his brows, legs itching to turn and run back. Sam notices and hurries to catch Harley by his collar and pull him on his side.

‘Calm down boy.’ It doesn’t really work but Harley stops pulling. ‘Come here, it’s okay.’ Sam reaches hand towards Castiel and smiles warmly at him.

The distance between them feels uncomfortable and longer Cas stays away the more unreachable Sam starts too feel so he reaches hand too and slowly approaches, not looking at the dog. Sam smiles and nods to encourage him and Cas feels a lot better, coming on Sam’s right side, dog free zone. They twine their fingers together, Sam keeping Harley on his left side, and instinctively leans down towards Castiel’s face. The smaller man cups his cheek gently and meets Sam’s lips in a soft warm kiss.

‘Hello, Sam’ he whispers finally, hand on Sam’s chest.

‘Glad you came.’ Sam whispers and pokes forehead into Castiel’s.

‘Wouldn’t miss a chance to be with you in peace.’

‘Harley missed you too.’ Unsurely, Castiel looks down at the curious dog. His hand slowly slides down Sam’s chest, over his hip and moves to Sam’s hand that’s holding the collar of the dog and finally strokes Harley’s head for few seconds. ‘Well done.’ Sam whispers and kisses his head. ‘Shall we take a walk?’ Castiel nods with a smile.

Maybe they receive a bit more stares than they are used to. The girls don’t seem to be interested once they notice the men holding hands. And frankly, they feel a bit odd. Both of them never before have expressed such attachment to someone in public. Never before walked hand in hand with a boyfriend out in public.   

‘Cute dog.’ A tomb boy woman walks by them fast and smiles.

Sam only smiles, having no chance to answer because the woman is fast away from them.

‘I thought no one would dare to do that.’ Cas chuckles.

‘Everyone compliment my dog.’ Sam shrugs.

‘I don’t mean that. She was flirting. And I’m positive she was thinking of a male threesome.’

‘What?’ Sam laughs, eyebrows shooting on his forehead.

‘She was checking us out. I believe she finds great deal of arousal thinking for a threesome with us and mostly because we are a queer couple. The compliment on the dog was just a cover. The bottom line is a threesome dream.’

‘And you know that how?’ Sam is highly impressed and surprised.

‘I studied psychology for some time.’ Cas shrugs.

‘You are full of surprises.’ Sam says low and stops their little walk to block Castiel’s way and lean to kiss him, teasing his lip with a tongue. Castiel tries not to grin in the kiss, which makes it a bit weird. Harley jumps in attempt to get in between them and receive love too but Sam squeezes his collar and keeps him aside. ‘Cas?’ Sam whispers when he pulls back.

‘Yes?’

‘So we are… as you said a ‘queer couple’?’

Castiel blushes a bit and looks away, thinking. ‘Well, I labeled us like that… since our date on Monday because the way it went and we held hands and made out on the couch… then in the store room in the bookstore. Now you keep kissing me so I thought we are a couple.’

‘You thought right.’ Sam chuckles and nuzzles nose in Castiel’s who smiles wider ‘We are officially together, aren’t we?’

‘I really much like it to be. We just have to change our facebook status.’

‘I don’t have a facebook. Gosh, did you talk with Gabriel?’ Sam laughs.

‘No.’ Castiel laughs too and kisses him chaste. ‘I don’t have facebook either.’

Sam shakes head and pulls Castiel’s hand. ‘Let’s go.’

They keep walking in the park and buy ice cream. Sam lets Harley free to run around and both with Cas sit on a bench and feed each other different flavors of ice cream and after that kiss it off each others’ mouths. Everything feels right and complete. Both finally in relationship and Castiel can’t stop questioning his luck. Sam is smart and really nice and damn he is hot. What surprised him is how eager Sam is for them to be together. Castiel wonders why. He is nothing special. But maybe that’s a reason to keep Sam close – the man sees something worthy in an ordinary teacher like Cas.

Sam puts the leash back on Harley and they walk again, Cas not asking where to. They head to the end of the park where the local sport ground is. Castiel is curious of why there are so many people and wonders if there’s an interesting game. Harley starts wagging tail and barking trying to get closer. Sam glimpses at Castiel for his reaction. There is none until they hear barking and a group of teenagers pass by them with few huge dogs on leashes. Castiel grasps hard on Sam’s arm and takes a sharp breath, trying not to look at the dogs.

‘Sam… they are huge.’

‘It’s okay. They are not going to hurt us. Look they are going to the sport ground. There’s a dog competition today.’

Castiel frowns and pulls back from Sam. ‘Is that why we are here… with Harley? You want to participate.’

‘Cas’ Sam sighs and tries to explain.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Castiel breaks their touch and tilts head, deep sad crease between his eyebrows.

‘I wanted to, but decided it eventually. I was scared you might not want to go out with me then.’  

‘And you decided it was a good idea to bring me here anyway so I can’t say anything.’

‘No, it’s not like that.’ Sam shakes head and steps towards Cas who shakes head and steps away.

‘I trusted you and you do that to me.’ Castiel’s eyes fill with tears and Sam’s heart breaks. What was he thinking? He is going to lose Cas because a reckless decision. ‘I told you my story… I told you I can’t be around dogs, I barely stand around Harley and you bring me where there are like 100 dogs of all sizes. I have a-’

‘PTSD’ Sam finishes and steps closer to Cas, taking his hand in his ‘I know. What happened when you were 14 left you with posttraumatic stress disorder. I know about it. I read about it because of you.’ Sam stares in Castiel’s eyes and hopes he understand how much Sam is sorry. ‘I just wanted to come by and see how it’s going. I love dog competitions, Harley too, but… I can’t lose you because of it. Maybe you could forgive me and get away from here.’ Castiel doesn’t say anything. The crease is still deep between his eyebrows, lip trembling just a bit. Sam lets go of his hand and cups his face between his palms, stepping really close into his personal space. Castiel inhales Sam’s cologne and closes his eyes. ‘Look at me.’ Sam whispers insistently and the blue watery eyes pierce his soul making Sam sorry for hurting such pure thing like him. ‘In the past few weeks I can’t stop thinking about you. I feel so much happier when I hear your voice, when I see you. I feel like I finally found what was missing in my life though I haven’t experienced it completely – it’s you Cas. And I’m ready to give up anything that makes you feel bad just to be sure you will stay.’

‘Would you really?’ Cas’ voice comes quiet, chest tightening with emotions. He swallows hard and curls fingers around Sam’s wrists. 

‘I don’t know if we are pushing things too fast, but I also don’t care. You are part of my life already and everything feels about right.’

‘How did I deserve such an amazing man like you?’ Cas smiles through the deep sad frown.

Sam sighs with relief and seals their lips together, long, softly and loving until any doubt is erased and Castiel is panting for air. He wraps arms around Sam’s waist and Sam hugs him over his shoulders, cheek resting on his soft hair.

‘Let’s grab some takeaway and go home. I want to show you how much I care about you.’ They pull back and twine fingers ‘Come on, Harley.’ Sam pulls his leash and they head away.

‘Hey, Sam, wait.’ A female voice comes behind them and they stop to turn around.

‘Ruby, hi.’ Sam smiles and they hug fast.

‘Nice seeing you here.’ She smiles and kneels to pet Harley. ‘How’s the good boy.’ He licks her shortly and wags tail.

‘Ruby, this is my boyfriend, Castiel. Cas, this a very close friend of mine, Ruby.’ Sam presents them and Ruby stands up to shake hands.

‘Permit me to say that you are gorgeous.’ She giggles and Sam pulls the blushing man closer to himself.

‘And he is all mine.’

‘You’ve always been a bit possessive, haven’t you, Sam.’ Ruby tries to tickle his stomach and Sam bumps her shoulder with fist.

‘Hey. I keep close the worthy things.’ 

 ‘Are you coming?’ Ruby nods her head towards the entrance. ‘We are starting in 10 minutes. I really much expected you to come.’

‘We… are not going to participate this year.’ Sam shrugs and squeezes Cas’ fingers who looks up to read his expression and his stomach clenches slightly. Sam seem doesn’t want to give any more reasons.

‘Sad. I think you would have a chance. It’s not a big deal. Next time, maybe.’

‘Yes, it’s not the last competition after all.’

‘Alright then. I’ll go back. Call me when you are free, we haven’t hanged out in a long time.’

‘Sure.’ Sam smiles and nods. ‘Bye Ruby.’

‘She is nice.’ Castiel notes when they turn around and walk away.

‘Yes she is. She helped me settle down here when I moved from my parents. She is someone I can trust unconditionally.’

They keep walking in silence for some time but there’s heaviness in Castiel’s gut. Something is not exactly okay and he wants to change it. Fire rises up his chest only by thinking what he wants to say. And maybe he would be sorry for it but he won’t sleep if he doesn’t at least offer it.

‘Sam.’

‘Hmm?’ Sam looks at him warmly, dreamy.

‘I think you should go and participate in the competition.’

‘What?’ Sam’s brows shot on his forehead. ‘Cas, we talked about it-‘

‘No’ Cas shakes head and takes breath, trying to cool down the burn, and keep his hands from trembling. ‘I don’t want you to give up on things you love because of me. You’ve doing that for years, and I came in your life just few weeks ago and I’m already ruining something important to you.’

‘It’s just a dog competition for anyone who wants to show off their dogs. That’s it.’ Sam tries to convince him how unimportant that is. 

‘It’s big and important for you and Harley. I saw all those awards in your apartment. Don’t try to tell me you aren’t excited to go there and show your tricks with Harley.’ Sam doesn’t say anything, his facial expression making him look like a child that wasn’t allowed to attend the towns Fair.

‘But we are on a date.’

‘So? Normal couples would go and do that. And the only thing that’s stopping us it’s my PTSD, but I’m sure we can find a way for both of us to enjoy it. Like-‘ Cas looks around and thinks ‘I will wait outside and look through the grid.’

‘Sounds sad.’ Sam pouts.

‘I will still see you, but I will feel safer like that.’ They stare at each other for few seconds, Sam considering the offer. Harley sits still and tilts head, wondering why his owner and the other charming dude became statues.

‘Are you completely sure?’

‘Sam’ Castiel sighs, getting annoyed with him, but also his stomach fluttering. ‘Any kind of relationship is about trust and care and while thinking of your own well-being and happiness also thinking about the others’. You are taking on with my PTSD and that’s already too much considering you are owner of a dog. The least I can do is to try to support you from distance.’

And if Sam’s eyes aren’t filled with tears like the night Castiel told him his tragic story.

‘If you are thinking to cry we should really go then and buy you tissues.’ Cas acquires really serious expression that Sam hasn’t seen but it doesn’t stop him to wrap his strong arms around his waist and hug him hard, lifting him off the ground and spinning around.

‘Thank you. Thank you so much.’ Sam whispers in Cas’ neck. Castiel has his arms around Sam’s head, smiling wide in Sam’s long silk hair that smells so sweet. He feels like he can fly with happiness because Sam is happy and he expresses it so obviously.

Ruby is really happy to see Sam back there. She leads him to the register table and he takes out Harley’s documents. The people are surprised of how many awards they have already and Sam smiles as if it’s the most ordinary thing. He receives a number and Ruby leads him to his place where he has to wait to be called out in front of the judges and the audience. Sam kneels to Harley and whispers him encouraging words while scratching the sides of his neck and smoothes out his fur. When he stands up he is smiling wide, checking out the competitive dogs and after such a long time not training and participating he doubts they will win anything this time. But it doesn’t matter because they are here for fun and the show. Sam makes Harley sit down still and won’t make a noise and Harley obeys. Meanwhile the man looks around and frowns when he can’t see Castiel anywhere outside the grid.

Castiel is tapping foot nervously on in the grass, inhaling and exhaling again and again, trying to keep calm. He is still far from the sport ground but he already heard the start of the competition and he has to show up somehow so Sam can see him, his support and have his fun knowing Cas is okay too. He steps towards the grid totally confident but hears a bark from the other side and freezes, stepping back slowly, heart crawling up to his ears. After few more heavy breaths he forces his legs towards the grid again. And he finally reaches it. There are many people and actually no dog is near and there is no way any dog to go through the grid and harm him. He slowly relaxed and feels proud of himself. He has a perfect view of the stage and with a little observation he sees where Sam is standing and waiting his Harley.

Sam is frowning concern of why he can’t see Castiel anywhere. All he wants is to catch a glimpse of him just to be sure he is there and okay. His hand itches to take out his phone and call him but then his and Harley’ names echo from the speakers and he has to come on the stage. With a smile he and Harley walk in front of the audience in a synchrony and the judges immediately take notes. The host of the competition gives them some orders that are standard for all participants. They walk a circle with Harley on the same line with Sam next to his left leg. Then they have to stand still and the judges to take a good look of Harley in profile. After that Sam and Harley give their own show – sit and stand up orders, little dance they usually do at home with music from the radio, Sam walking forward while Harley goes between his legs on every step. The audience loves them and the judges seem impressed.

Castiel sees everything and he is impressed to the point he forgets his anxiety. Sam looks really happy and Harley too. This whole thing is in their blood and it’s obvious they’ve been doing that in a long time. Thinking he could have taken that away from Sam makes Cas sad but he overcame his problem even just a bit and let Sam and Harley be happy. Cas feels he can’t be weight on their shoulders and tries to imagine their life together. Somehow the pieces don’t fit right. He watches till the end of Sam and Harley’ show and smiles sadly before stepping away from the grid and slowly walking down the park path with hands in his pockets.


	13. Chapter 13

Sam and Harley have to wait 30 more minutes for the awarding to start and then 30 more to the end of it and only because Ruby convinces him to stay because he may win something. After so much waiting and no Castiel to be seen, Sam doesn’t really care if they win anything because all he wants is to continue his date with his beautiful new boyfriend.

‘Sam and Harley’ the host calls and invites them on the stage.

They receive second place cup and Sam is genuinely surprised but he smiles wide. It takes like 20 more minutes for children and big dog fans take pictures with them.  When it’s finally over Sam hands the leash to Ruby and asks her to bring Harley home later and she gladly agrees. She wishes Sam fun and winks at him. Sam rolls eyes but can’t help to smile. With the cup in hand he runs out of the sport ground and looks around for Castiel. Suddenly he is not that calm and happy anymore. He calls Castiel’s name and walks down that path afraid that he might have left.

But there he is, sitting on a bench and swinging his legs and it’s so adorable. Sam sighs and runs to him. He drops on the bench next to him and kisses his cheek.

‘Glad to see you are still here.’

‘Impressing performance’ Cas grins and hooks Sam’s bangs behind his ear.

‘You saw?’ Deep dimples cut Sam’s cheeks, eyes sparkling with happiness.

‘I saw everything. I was there. But you couldn’t really see me.’

‘There were so many people. I thought you left.’ Sam says quietly and nuzzles nose in Cas’ ear.

‘I said it’s okay. I wanted to support you and be happy. And you were happy and therefore I was happy too.’ Sam ducks his head a bit and presses lips to Castiel’s, warm and soft, thankful.

‘We got second place.’ Sam grins and hands Castiel the cup.

‘So proud of you.’ Castiel hugs his neck and Sam wraps arms around his waist. ‘Where’s Harley.’ He frowns.

‘I asked Ruby to bring him home later. We have some free time just you and me. Let’s go get drinks and food and go home to celebrate.’

‘Great idea.’ Castiel’s eyes dart between Sam’s eyes and lips.

‘You are staying home tonight, aren’t you? Please. It’s weekend.’ Sam gives him the puppy eyes, the only ones Castiel is okay with.

‘I was hoping you to invite me.’ Cast tilts head a bit with a smirk, hand resting high on Sam’s thigh and hotness creeps up his body, feeling hunger for kisses and more touches. He can’t wait for the night to progress. Sam leans over Castiel and kisses him deep, sharing the lust. Cas recognizes it immediately and grasps Sam’s hand ‘Let’s go.’

On the way to the supermarket Castiel compliments Sam and Harley’ preparation and performance and that the audience loved them. Sam admits he has been worrying about Cas meanwhile and Cas squeezes his hand hard to comfort him. In the supermarket Sam chooses a bottle of wine that Castiel considers expensive for his own taste but the look Sam gives him makes his knees weak.

‘We deserve that – for the win, for your bravery, and for the perfect ending of our date.’ Sam explains his choice of wine, obviously familiar with those stuff, and leans down to peck Castiel’s lips. The teacher, however, curls fingers in his shirt and keeps him down, sucking on Sam’s bottom lip in a way that makes Sam’s nerves explode with arousal and it seems promising for later that night. Sam can’t help but let a tiny whimper. Cas releases his mouth with a little wet pop and smirks satisfied at Sam’s pink cheeks.

‘Down, boy.’ Cas says low and Sam is tingling and wanting to howl.  

They hurry to take snacks and another mini chocolate cake, because Sam ate the last one. They wait at the check point and Castiel’s eyes fall on the little section of condoms and lubricants. His face warms up a bit and gets a bit nervous but still calls Sam and nods head towards the section. Sam takes few seconds to notice what Cas is hinting and his adam’s apple bobs up with a hard swallow. 

‘I have at home.’ He admits and with the corner of his eyes catches Cas smirking.

They pick up Chinese takeaway and hand in hand go to Sam’s apartment. Cas feels a lot better this time. He knows the place already and Harley is no there to corner him against the furniture. Both with Sam unpack the shopping. Sam offers him to pick up something on the TV or from his DVD collection while he serves the dinner on the coffee table in the living room. After few clicks Cas finds _‘You have a Mail’_ with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan and helps Sam serve.

‘Are you a psychic?’ Sam’s eyes go wide and he laughs shortly.

‘What do you mean?’ Cas frowns and lets Sam pull him down on the couch.

 _‘You have a Mai_ l is my favourite romantic movie.’

‘Mine too.’ Cas tilts head and grins. ‘I often cry at the end, especially if I haven’t watched it in months.’

‘Same. That’s why I watch it on my own.’

‘Do you want to change it?’

‘No, I want to watch it with you.’ Sam smiles warmly and kisses Cas’ forehead.

They have dinner calmly and finally cuddle on the couch, Sam sprawled on the length of it and Castiel’s back over his chest. Every time Cas takes a gulp from his glass of wine, Sam catches his chin and brings him up for a soft seal of their lips, sucking just lightly. After the sixths time, Castiel finally speaks up.

‘I’m not complaining but why are you doing this?’

‘What exactly?’ Sam frowns a bit and Castiel shifts to face him and press chest to his.

‘Kissing me. After every time I drink from my wine.’

‘I find your thick, wine-soaked lips really sexy.’

From that moment on the movie is no longer interesting. Cas positions himself more comfortable over Sam and sucks hard and hungry on his bottom lip. Sam’s hands find their way in Castiel’s soft hand, pulling at strands around his ears and neck fighting Castiel’s mouth to bite and enjoy his thick bottom lip. They slow down just a bit, and open up wider, slipping tongue in the other’s mouth, closing lips around the wet firm collide. The followed moans make them shudder pleasantly. They don’t hold back, kissing as if for a last time, deep, hungry and needy, scared they might die if they break apart. Tangled on the couch, the position is not the most comfortable one taken but they don’t care. Castiel’s smaller body somehow fits over Sam’s. Although Sam is younger and probably Cas has to be the one initiating things, he feels just fine with Sam’s strong arms around his fragile body, likes the nights Sam calls him over the phone, and how he invites him to hang out or on a date. Cas holds on Sam’s shoulders and tries to crawl up on him body and show some dominance. Kicking his feet he accidentally kicks the coffee table and the glasses almost fall down.

‘Shit, sorry.’ Cas gets nervous and tries to look if there’s any mess, but Sam tightens the grip around his body and turns his face back to him.

‘Don’t bother.’ He pants and occupies Castiel’s mouth again, making him moan low, and relax.

Cas grinds over him just a bit and feels Sam’s body tense with the friction. Sam hasn’t experienced that in so long he swears he won’t find strength to stop if Cas pushes things little more. And with that thought Cas moves to nip at his jaw line. Sam gasps loudly and his arm shoots backwards, knocking down the lamp and startling Cas.

 ‘Sam-‘

‘Don’t bother’ Sam pants again pupils lust-blown and cheeks flustered. The picture drives Cas to slight wildness and he thinks how to pin his massive body to the bed and ravish his…

The door bell rings three fast times and both of them freeze and snap back to the reality, shivering with the thrill of getting caught. They aren’t used to the fact that people can accept them and they don’t need to hide.

Frustrated, Cas finds will to sit up and break the pleasant press of their bodies. Sam sits up too and combs fingers through his hair to put it on place and fixes his shirt on the way to the door.

‘Good evening.’ Ruby chirps with wide smile and Harley jumps on Sam.

‘Hey, boy.’ He scratches Harley’s neck and lets him in. The curious, happy to be home, dog goes straight to Cas. It’s surprising and alarming to him and he jumps backwards, almost falling over the back of the couch. Harley considers that as a game and tries to go with it. ‘Hey, hey,’ Sam charges towards him and pulls him by the collar.

‘I can take him home tonight if you want.’ Ruby offers, taking that Sam has a boyfriend over. The man sighs and nods, brining Harley back to the door.

‘Sam, it’s okay.’ Cas protests and sits back down, reaching for the wine glass.

‘Cas, it’s just for one night.’

The teacher stands up and takes his hand ‘Can I have a word with you?’

Sam hands Harley to Ruby and follows Cas in the kitchen.

‘Let’s make it clear for both of us – I don’t want my PTSD to stand between us. I don’t want you to keep Harley away from me and treat me differently.’

‘It’s just for one night. I want you to feel comfortable.’

‘Yes, I want that too. but if you start keeping him away every time I come here… It’s just not right. Besides, I have to slowly get used to him and keeping us apart won’t help.’

‘But you feeling anxious will help?’

‘It’s worth it.’ Castiel pierces Sam with his blue eyes, trying to convince him without saying anything more. He is a lot more intense than Sam’s puppy eyes and he finally gives up.

‘You are putting up with that all day because of me.’

‘So?’ Castiel’s answer shocks Sam and he stutters as he tries to keep calm.

‘Really? I care about your well-being. You don’t have to act like a hero. It’s okay not to be okay.’

‘It’s not about me being a hero, Sam.’ Their windy conversation hints upcoming storm.

‘Then explain it to me teacher. I don’t see it other way.’

‘It’s about trust and our relationship. I feel that this is going somewhere and it’s getting serious. I’m ready to fight through anything so our lives take the same turn and slowly synchronies in something serious and meaningful. I will be really upset if you don’t see it.’

Sam keeps silent, eyes wet, processing Castiel’s words and letting them soak through him.

‘I need your support and I need you to trust me.’ Castiel takes his hands gently. ‘Can you do that for me?’

Sam nods and squeezes Castiel’s fingers ‘Of course I can. I just… I don’t want you to feel anxious. I don’t want you to link me with the dog that makes you stand on your nails all the time. I don’t want you to connect what we have with full attention to that.’

‘It hasn’t happened like that so far, and if I keep trying getting used to Harley everything will be okay.’ Cas brings Sam’s hands to his mouth and kisses his fingers softly. Sam smiles warmly and throws arms around Castiel’s neck pulling him into a hug. Cas smiles in the crook of his neck and shudders lightly with the feel of Sam’s breath and lips to his ear.

When they get back to the door Sam shows Cas how to hold Harley’s collar and although his fingers are trembling he tries to curl them around the collar and pull Harley to the couch where he sits and scratches him carefully. Sam assures Ruby that they will be fine and thanks her for taking care of Harley for those few hours. She wishes them a good night with a wink and Sam knows what she is thinking already.

Castiel notices progress in accepting Harley. His first reaction is jumping away and it hurts Sam more or less, but then Cas tries, tries so hard to relax and bury his fingers in the dog’s fur. After another 10 minutes he is relaxed and Harley’s melting in his feet.

‘Trust me now?’ Cas gives Sam a proud bitch face.

‘You are going to shove that down my throat every time from now on, aren’t you?’

‘Yes, if it’s going to help me somehow.’ Cas grins.

‘Working with teenagers affects you.’

‘I wouldn’t say so. You are the one who makes me feel like a teenager again.’

‘I know what you mean.’ Sam bites his lip and pulls to the kitchen to bring the chocolate cake.

They cuddle again on the couch and enjoy the desert with the last few minutes of the movie. Although Harley seems sad and alone under the window, Sam doesn’t call him to join them because Cas already relaxed in his arms and don’t want to make him uneasy again. At the end of the movie when the characters finally see the truth and kiss, Castiel’s eyes well up with happy tears. Sam hugs him hard from behind and kisses his hair, making a weird happy noise that makes Cas laugh and Harley gives them a confused look.

‘Want to go to bed?’ Sam murmurs in Cas’ neck and makes him shudder.

‘I would really love to.’ Cas hums in content. ‘I need some privacy first.’

‘Sure. Come.’ Sam takes his hand and leads him in his bedroom.

It’s really cozy, warm and it smells like washing powder from the bed compared to the dog smell in the living room. The windows are almost as big as those in the living room and there are more stuff than in the living room – huge two-winged wardrobe with a mirror that probably wasn’t even half full. There’s a big cupboard on the right of the door and Cas tries not to think about Sam’s underwear. There are shelves with more books but also a lot of pictures, souvenirs, little toys and other different possessions. The bed is bigger than Cas expected.

‘I love to mollycoddle myself sometimes.’ Sam shrugs ‘When I moved here I decided to buy a big bed. Firstly I’m big and I wanted to have enough space to roll over. Secondly, Harley often sleeps with me so big bed has no disadvantages.’

‘Also it’s really comfortable when you have company.’ Cas’ voice reaches lower octave and slides hand around Sam’s waist.

‘Well yeah but I never get a chance for a company in that sense of the word.’

Suddenly Castiel’s flat palm lands hard on Sam’s round, tight, denim-wrapped ass and Sam yelps in surprise and jumps from Cas, staring him in confused shock.

‘What am I doing here then? Am I not your company for the night?’ Cas acts offended. Sam needs a moment more to shake off the surprise and push the arousal down.

‘O-of course you are. I mean before you I actually haven’t brought anyone in my bedroom.’

‘Really? All those 7 years you’ve been here you never invited anyone? Not even for… one night adventure?’

‘No, no…’ Sam laughs shortly and scratches his neck ‘I have had sexual experience during those seven years, but they were more like one-night thing at someone else’s home or work place and made me realize I’m not into that kind of stuff.’

‘I understand. You don’t want sexual attachment only.’

‘I need the emotional one first. With or without it, however, sex is not the most important thing. To feel extreme pleasure with it I need to feel really comfortable with my partner first.’

‘I respect that. I don’t mind one-night stands but it’s not like having someone to call your boyfriend and share the tremor with.’

‘I know what you mean.’ Sam’s voice is full of warmth and understanding and he gives Cas a dorky, nose-bump kiss, giving him no chance to kiss deeper and that frustrates the teacher a bit. Sam goes to the cupboard. ‘Here’s a clean towel, the bathroom is all yours. I will clean up the table, wash the dishes and feed Harley meanwhile.’

‘I will wait you here after that.’ Cas smiles and squeezes the fluffy towel in his hands. He thought well to take his bag with sleepover supplies in any case. He just knew Sam was going to invite him for the night.

Cas prepares really fast, maybe because he can’t wait. His mouth is fresh, clean underwear around his butt, and baggy white t-shirt that can fit Sam too. He looks himself in the mirror and questions his attractiveness, questions what Sam saw in him. But he can’t stop thinking about how they are going to spend the night in one bed and if he is lucky things may get hot. The shy smile looks so unfamiliar on his face, and he wishes the butterflies could leave his stomach alone.

Walking back in the bedroom there’s a surprise waiting him in the bed – Harley. The dog has found the clean sheets a perfect place to relax. The butterflies are suddenly dead and Cas’ stomach is a tight ball. He didn’t expect that and he doesn’t like it.

‘Go away.’ Cas pleads but Harley keeps lying there with half-hooded eyes. ‘It’s just for one night doggy.’

Harley still seems uninterested. Cas gets irritated and sad for being unable to do anything against the dog but he also doesn’t want to disappoint Sam who is still rattling dishes in the kitchen. Taking few deep breaths, with pounding heart he approaches the bed and slowly moves the bed sheet to slide beneath it. He doesn’t break eye contact with Harley. He knows Harley won’t hurt him but it’s still uneasy. The dog considers that a good opportunity to receive some attention and crawls to Castiel, offering his head for a scratch on his lap. Cas’ eyes grow wide, his muscles tense and he wants to yell for Sam to help him, but unable to do so. He stares at the dog and inhales deep and steady. He whispers ‘good dog’ every few seconds and tries to convince himself that everything is okay. He closes his eyes and exhales slowly. His hand slowly slides towards Harley until he finds his head and pets him gently though his heart keeps hammering against his chest. Harley lies there completely still and content.

‘HARLEY! OFF THE BED’ Sam appears at the door and yells so scarily that he startles Cas who snaps his eyes opened. Harley whines and jumps of the bed, lowering his tail and head. Sam catches his collar and pulls him in the living room. Cas hears him angrily saying something to the dog and tries to relax and look okay. ‘I’m sorry. Are you okay?’ Sam asks when he comes back and closes the door of the bedroom.

‘I’m fine. He was just cuddling.’ Cas smiles and Sam actually believes him.

Sam goes to brush his teeth and when he returns Cas has comfortably cuddled into pillow, looking at Sam with the edge of his eye. Sam gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and steps to the other side of the bed to undress. He takes his wrist watch first, then unbuttons and throws the button-up shirt on the chair by the window, leaving the grey v-neck t-shirt to sleep with. And Cas can’t tear his eyes off the beautiful man stripping in front of him. Sam undoes the belt of his skinny jeans, works the zipper and the button and slides them off his hips and legs, leaving him in his slightly baggy grey briefs and Cas’ breath ceases in his lungs. If that’s not the cutest butt he has ever seen and those miles long legs and thighs make him burn pleasantly with need to feel them. Sam throws the jeans on the chair and joins Cas under the shared cover.

‘You really think that’s okay?’ he asks quietly when he finally settles down with face towards Cas. Cas shifts closer to him and twines fingers with his.

‘I wouldn’t have agreed to stay for the night if I wasn’t sure. Are you having second thoughts?’

‘Not even one.’ Sam whispers and shifts closer to Cas too. ‘I don’t feel uncomfortable around you, I’m not embarrassed. I feel like I know you for months.’

‘That explains the fast development of our friendship and relationship.’

‘It’s too fast, isn’t it?’ Sam barely whispers, eyes closed, scared of Cas’ answer.

‘For some people it would be, but not for me.’ Sam caresses Sam’s clean-shaven cheek and smiles, Sam opening eyes again. ‘Sam, I’ve been really lonely. I feel like my years are rolling and I haven’t achieved the things I want. Having someone like you by my side is one of those things. After the first time we had coffee I hoped so much it could turn into something special like from the movies.’

‘Is it now?’ Sam wraps arm around Cas’ waist and strokes his lower back.

‘I guess so. If we are seriously becoming part of each other’s lives it’s going to be a long adventure.’

‘I’m ready.’ Sam whispers on Castiel’s lips and cuts the distance between their bodies, his leg settles in between Castiel’s, Sam hooks Cas knee over his hipbone and slides hand tenderly under his thigh. Cas shudders and gasps, feeling Sam’s lips teasingly close to his mouth and his nerves go on fire with excitement.

‘Yes, Sam. I am too.’ He barely restrains from whining with need, but then there’s Sam’s mouth on his, kissing him hungrily, deep, needy and swallows every moan from the teacher’s throat and wants to force more right here, right now.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Following chapter has sexual content. For those who are not comfortable reading it, they may skip to the next chapter without missing out important plot points.

Sam pushes into Cas. Cas pushes into Sam. Lying on their sides, facing each other, they kiss deeply, softly, slowly. Sam’s tongue invades Cas’ mouth and Castiel lets him in, sucking that younger demanding tongue and wet pink bottom lip. Sam melts from Cas’ fingers in his hair and grips Cas’ thigh harder bringing his pelvic closer to his until their groins are firmly pressing. Cas’ hips instinctively jerk against Sam’s, his thigh pressing even harder at Cas private parts. Cas breaks the kiss and gasps with the forgotten sensation. His mouth feels strangely empty at the lack of Sam’s tongue. Sam chuckles and kisses along his jaw line, rolling hips just the slightest to stimulate the blood flow and erect to his full glory. It’s only two thin layers of underwear separating them but hell it’s still arousing and pleasant. Cas clings on Sam, eyelids fluttering because Sam’s lips around his neck are plugging at the strings on his pleasure. Cas can’t help but moan and grow harder whilst riding Sam’s muscled thigh. Chasing his release like that makes his toes curl, the pressure in his abdomen still dull, but somehow unbearable.

‘Enjoying yourself, Cas?’ Sam breathes out hot to his ear, taking all he is worth to keep in control and won’t jump in something more than what they are already doing.

‘Fuck, Sam.’ Cas’ usually gravel voice comes out higher and broken.

‘Talk to me.’ Sam prompts and squeezes his hip to slow him down.

‘Need your hand… down on me, please.’ The teacher begs him almost desperately.

Sam doesn’t think twice. His hand pushes between their bodies and finds the hem of Castiel’s underwear. Keeping an eye on his face he pushes fingers past the hem, down, inside, fingers sinking in a pretty thick pillow of pubic hair. And then there’s a hard wet dick that he gently palms. Cas’ face is relaxed, mouth half opened and Sam kisses him gently as his hand works on his pleasure.  

‘Join me.’ Cas pants and tugs on Sam’s underwear.

‘You want me to-‘ Sam looks him with surprise and burning lust.

‘Yes, yes, just, please, mutual pleasure, your hand is bigger.’ Although Cas tickles Sam a bit, he manages to pull the front of Sam’s underwear down. Sam thrusts forward, gasps, needs to catch them both. Cas chuckles and then there’s Sam’s large palm wrapped around both their dicks, flesh to flesh and he starts jacking them off. ‘Fuck, Sam.’

Sam places open mouth kisses to Castiel’s neck and jaw; the hard, warm wet mess in his fist making them moan softly. Cas arches his back and thrust in Sam’s hand, panting.

‘Sam, I’m gonna-‘

‘Do it’ Sam groans and fills Cas’ mouth with his tongue, thrusting along with Cas. Just a slight twist of his wrist and Castiel grasps his hair, thighs tensing as he climaxes and moans in Sam’s mouth. That’s all Sam needs to follow.

Is it because the light in the room, or the recent orgasm, their faces look redder than normal. Pupils blown they stare at each other, Sam’s hand still holding the mess between them. Smile cracks on Castiel’s lips and he shrugs.

‘It’s been long time since I last cleaned the pipes. Besides, feeling your length along mine mind blown me.’

‘It’s okay.’ Sam chuckles and whips the bangs off his face ‘I’ve been as needy.’ Cas grabs the sides of his face and pulls him in a long soft kiss that make Sam’s knees weak although he is lying.

After kissing to swollen lips Sam finally manages to tell Cas take off his underwear. He hands him tissues and goes to the bathroom to change and wash their underwear, leaving it by the open window to dry for the morning. Cas straightens his sleeping shirt to cover himself and lies on his right side with back at Sam’s place. Sam returns with clean underwear on his butt and goes under the cover, snuggling closer to Cas with a hand around his waist. He pulls Cas flush to his chest and buries face in his neck, inhaling and smiling on his skin with a funny noise.

‘What?’ Cas chuckles with closed eyes and melts from Sam’s warmth.

‘Dreamed for that for so long.’ Sam hums in content. Castiel doesn’t response. Sam opens his eyes and waits little more. He finally whispers ‘Is it the same to you?’

‘I don’t know-‘ Castiel answers with genuine confusion in his voice ‘I didn’t know I needed that until now. I’ve always been busy because of school, always scared to initiate a date even if someone caught my attention. It’s nice to be a little spoon.’

‘It’s nice that I have one now.’ Sam smiles on his skin again and twines fingers with Cas on his stomach. ‘Good night, Cas.’

‘Good night, Sam.’

If it wasn’t for the recent orgasm they wouldn’t have fallen asleep that fast. Content under the warm covers they sleep calmly for hours. At some point of the night, Sam pulls to his end of the bed, muscles stiff and too hot to keep cuddling with Cas. Cas doesn’t wake up, neither seem to mind because he takes his legs out to cool down. It’s all quiet and peaceful.


	15. Chapter 15

It’s not that quiet and peaceful till the end of the night, however. Nightmare takes over Castiel’s sleepy mind around 5:30 am. What he sees is just pale flashing images that slowly start to take more realistic shapes and sounds. His breathing grows heavier and he starts sweating, trashing his head on the pillow, trying to avoid what he sees in his own head. It all becomes vivid – the growls, the chattering of teeth, the barking. Cas is terrified, locked in his own head, unable to escape or do anything. His body weakly fights in the mess of sheets and the movement of the mattress slowly disturbs Sam’s sleep who blinks the sleepiness off his eyelids and tries to shift and look at Cas.

‘NOOOOOO, NOOO, NAAAAAAAhAAAhhh.’ The man’s screams rip the air and disturb the early morning’s silence. He throws punches, hits Sam, kicks him, in his legs, shoulders, almost in the face.

‘WHOA, HEY, CAs.’ Sam groans at the pain, startled and confused. He shudders and goes pale as Cas screams from the top of his lungs, jumping, shaking trying to run and fight Sam. ‘Cas, hey wake up.’ Sam reacts fast, catching the man’s shoulders and pulling him to his chest to prevent him from falling and punching again.

‘NOOOO.’ Cas keeps fighting and crying in the most heartbreaking, bone-shattering way that makes Sam panic. Sam turns on the light fast, grabs Castiel’s wrists and crosses his arms in front of his chest, embracing him from behind, and trying to trap his legs with his own.

‘Cas, wake up!’ Sam squeezes and shakes him, lips to his ear ‘Calm down, wake up, please!’ Cas throws his head back on Sam’s shoulder and Sam sees his red, pain convulsed face. He stops fighting, but keeps shaking in Sam’s embrace. ‘Cas, it’s okay. Calm down, you are safe, I’m here.’

Sam whispers comforting words in his ear and holds his wrists with one hand, brushing the hair off of his face with the other one. Cas wakes up, his body goes limp but he sobs, scared, confused and sweaty. Sam’s heart pounds in his chest, able to hear it in his ears, feeling the ache where Cas hit him. He tries to fix the pillows on the headboard of the bed and leans back with Cas in his hug, whispering soothingly in his ear and stroking his hair until his breathing becomes even and he stops shaking. Sam covers them so Cas won’t catch a cold from the cool air against his sweaty skin. After few more sobs and coughs, Cas finally relaxes completely and falls asleep.

Sam, however, is very much awake. He has never witnessed heavier and more scaring nightmare reaction. He can’t fall asleep again. Worried for Cas, he turns off the light and gently rubs Cas’ shoulder, hand combing feathery light through his silk black hair. Sam meets the sunrise with opened eyes and Cas’ hysteric yells echoing threw his head.

Around 8am, Sam carefully lays Cas on Sam’s side of the bed and pillow, unable to lie any longer like that. He kneels by the bed and observes him for a moment more before planting butterfly kiss on his temple. He grabs sweat pants, shirt and hoody and quietly walks out of the bedroom. Harley jumps on him immediately.

‘Shh, boy.’ Sam scratches Harley and the dog runs to the door, standing and looking at Sam expectedly.

Sam dresses up fast, puts the coffee machine on and takes Harley on his morning toilet outside. It seems like Harley is taking longer this morning. Sam has been slightly ignoring Harley the past few days because of Cas and the man felt guilty. But he also doesn’t have patience to go back home, worried for the man in his bed. When they go back Harley settles to eat breakfast and Sam prepares the one for him and Cas - scrambled eggs and toasts. Sam’s heart flutters and he smiles. He is finally preparing breakfast for 2 and has a reason to use a second mug for 2 coffees. There’s someone waiting him in bed and his happiness feels complete.

After a while, Harley makes a curious noise and lifts head up from his bowl, looking towards the living room. Sam frowns.

‘What is it boy?’ Harley shoots out from the kitchen and heads towards the bedroom. ‘Harley!’ Sam calls after him but no use.

 He takes the two steaming mugs of coffee and walks after Harley. The dog is standing at the open door, sniffing at the stranger that’s stretches under the cover but doesn’t show his face. Seems the smart animal actually forgot that his owner had brought company the previous night.

‘I’m sorry, boy. You have to stay away from him.’ Harley whines shortly, as if understood Sam’s words and goes back to his breakfast.

Sam walks to the bed, takes a sip from his coffee and leaves the mugs on the night stand. Cas is already awake, inhaling the thick smell of coffee and blinks sleepily, thick black eyelashes hooding his blue eyes. The bed dips down slightly as Sam sits to him, smiling and leans to kiss Cas cheek.

‘Morning, Cas.’

Castiel’s cheeks turn slightly pink, he ducks his head slightly to find Sam’s mouth and suck his bottom lip. Tasting the coffee he moans shortly. It takes Sam a bit by surprise but he doesn’t pull back.

‘Morning, Sam.’

Sam shivers by Castiel’s low husky morning voice and his heart flutters again. He climbs on the bed and lets Cas cuddle sleepy to his chest and hands him his coffee. Sam feels even more complete - beautiful man finding peace in his embrace, in his bed, both cuddling and having morning coffee. Cas feels like he can fall asleep again with Sam’s breathing and heartbeat under his head.

‘I can stay like this for hours.’ He admits and ducks head up to look at Sam.

‘Me too. Wished for that every morning since forever.’ Sam huffs, feeling a bit cheesy but it doesn’t matter because the beautiful blue eyes are staring dreamily at him, clings on him and kisses him again, mouths hot and sweet with the taste of coffee.

They lie in silence for some time. Fingers twined, holding mugs of coffees, as the morning sun showers the room in orange and reflects in their eyes. The minutes feel endless, the world somehow stopped for a while as lazy as the men in the bed.

‘What happened?’ Sam asks quietly after some time.

‘When?’ Cas frowns.

‘Early this morning… you had a nightmare.’ Cas keeps lying on Sam’s chest and doesn’t respond. ‘Cas, what did you dream of?’

‘I’m okay.’ Cas pushes from his chest and leaves the mug on the nightstand.

‘This is not what I’m asking. Cas!’ Sam insists and leaves his coffee too, turning Cas to him by his neck looking at blues eyes full of shame and sorrow. ‘You cried, screamed and threw punches at me. What took over your dreams?’

‘I hoped we didn’t have to discuss that.’ Cas whispers, trying to look away from the intense olive green eyes.

‘I couldn’t fall asleep after that. You scared the crap out of me and suffered on my watch. How am I supposed to forget about it?’

‘It was my PTSD.’ Cas explains quietly and peeks at Sam with the corner of his eye ‘Everything that happened yesterday triggered me. I didn’t mean to ruin our perfect night.’

‘You didn’t ruin it, Cas-‘

‘You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.’ Cas pulls from Sam and gathers the sheets around his naked bottom.

‘I’m sorry-‘ Sam catches is waist to keep him on the bed and Cas looks at him sadly. ‘It was my fault that your day was full of dog stuff. I’m sorry. What can I do to apologize? I don’t want to lose you.’

‘You are not going to lose me. I won’t run now.’ Cas smiles slightly, sliding hands over Sam’s strong arms.

‘But I don’t want you to feel anxious here, around me, around Harley.’

‘Sam’ Cas cups his face and looks him right in the eyes, trying to fight through his concern ‘We are together now, there will be obstacles, you can’t prevent everything.’

‘But-’ Sam tries to protest but Castiel’s lips are softly on his.

‘This discussion is over. Breakfast time.’ Cas smiles and kisses the deep crease in Sam’s forehead. ‘I’m older than you. Don’t forget.’

‘Fine.’ Sam sighs and shakes head. ‘I will wait you in the kitchen.’

Cas gives Sam another peck on the lips, gathers the sheets around his waist and goes to the bathroom. Sam licks his lips, following Cas with eyes and deep dimples cut in his cheeks as his face lights up with the brightest smile.  

The breakfast is quiet, only the radio playing from above the fridge. Scrambled eggs and toasts are actually pretty easy and fast to eat. Sam takes the empty dishes and puts them in the sink. He turns around and reaches hand towards Cas who frowns questioningly.

‘May I have this dance?’

‘You are ridiculous.’ Cas shakes head and covers his face. Sam turns the music a bit louder and swings his hips towards Cas who tries not to burst laughing. Sam catches his hands and pulls him up, wrapping arm around his waist and other hand locked with Castiel’s ‘I haven’t danced since last year’s prom at school.’

Cas holds on Sam’s biceps and finally looks up at him. Sam’s smile is soft, eyes dreamy, mouth not completely closed. Sam’s drowning in Castiel’s blue eyes. Cas presses closer to him, holds tighter and they slowly rock with the rhythm of the song, chest to chest, hips to hips, they smile at each other and dance as if there’s nothing else. Sam leans forward just a bit presses lips softly to Cas’ forehead, and he lingers there longer than normal, closing his eyes. Cas hums in content, hand sliding up to Sam’s shoulder, Sam’s lips brushing down between Cas brows, down the bridge of his nose. Cas tilts up a bit, lips parted. Sam’s nose presses at the side of Cas’ nose, Sam’s lips on the corner of Cas’ mouth until they move just the slightest and their lips meet, fitting in between like the perfect puzzle. Sam holds Cas tighter, hearts beating against each other. Cas’ fingers travel up around Sam’s neck until his fingers sink in long silk locks.

There’s nothing else but them. A pair of soft, morning lips kissing, need of another body pressed to theirs and it feels just about right. And although Sam hasn’t said it, Cas knows what he does and says is controlled by love.

Since they have entered the kitchen Harley had laid on the doorstep of the room, watching them quietly, knowing somehow he should not interrupt. If there is something Harley knows, although as a dog, it’s that his owner is happy. 


	16. Chapter 16

The next two months are like a beautiful story, one of those Sam had read in the bookstore. Every Friday night Sam and Cas go out on a fancy dinner, trying out different restaurants, getting to know each other’s taste better. Sam eats a lot healthier and goes to the gym, runs with Harley, while Cas turns out to adore cheeseburgers, but also home-cooked food, Italian and Chinese. Friday and Saturday and Saturday to Sunday Cas sleeps over Sam’s place and very rarely Sam over Cas’ place, because he had decided not to intrude Castiel’s hommr with any dog stuff – it’s about respect if nothing else.

They take walks outside with Harley and surely Cas feels a lot more relaxed with him, which makes Sam’s heart flutter with happiness.

On week days, however, they don’t have much time and mostly hear over the phone before bed. They actually try phone sex a couple of times but both of them got shy and embarrassed and didn’t continue. Still, once the phone is hung up they have their hands down their pants, moaning each other’s name till they make a mess. Cheeks  flushed, Cas bites his lip and whispers ‘Forgive me father for my impure thoughts.’ Yet, he hasn’t ever been sorry for the pleasure. Although they do that, they don’t go any farther in the sexual experience, limiting to the handjobs only.

Whenever Castiel has free classes during the weeks he hurries to go to visit Sam in the bookstore. Sam remembers the schedule really fast so every Tuesday and Thursday he waits Cas to bring starbucks at 9:40. They cuddle up on the coach  at the deepest end of the bookstore, drink and talk, or just enjoy each other’s company and share sweet and soft kisses. Sometimes Sam reads something and Cas almost falls asleep. At 10:30, unwillingly Cas has to leave Sam’s warm body and head back to school.

On the other days Sam leaves the bookstore around lunch to grab some food and rushes to the school, with or without Harley, and sits with Cas in his classroom as they eat and talk. Cas always locks the room, making sure no one would interrupt them. And with reason because the last 10-15 minutes, of Castiel’s break Sam loves to sit him on the desk, probe hands on the desk on both sides of Cas’ butt and leans in, making out a bit more erotically than usual. What makes the kissing hot is the way Sam does it – he teases, he is slow, giving Cas those bedroom eyes that male Cas feel like a little obedient puppy. Sam is slow, teasing, opening his mouth and Cas follows, impatient for Sam to finally stick his tongue out. Cas is ready to whine with need when Sam finally enters his tongue in Cas’ mouth and locks their lips together. When he pulls back Cas’ face is flushed. Sam smirks and tilts his head, hooking fingers and pulling at Cas shirt collar. He feels Cas hot breath on his face before leaning to his neck and sucking a tiny hickey that the collar would hide.

‘Thinking of a naughty teacher roleplay?’ Cas whispers, suppressing a moan as Sam flicks wet tongue on his heated skin.

‘Damn straight.’ Sam chuckles.

‘Failing your sex ED and getting spanked?’ Cas bites his earlobe.

‘Ooohh, didn’t know you are into those kind of stuff.’ Sam looks at him surprised.

‘Our sex life is not particularly varied.’

Sam licks lips, thinking a bit.

‘I know, I mean… we don’t do anything except handjobs and grinding against each other, not that I don’t like it-‘

‘But you want to go farther, like real sex.’ Cas finishes for him and smiles warmly, tilting head a bit while staring at Sam’s lips. 

‘Yes.’ He confirms with slight pinkness on his cheeks. ‘Cas, we are together for 2 months and you already confirmed you are sexually active, and you are not asexual, neither am I and I can’t stop thinking of having your naked body pressed to mine-‘

Cas pulls Sam’s chin and kisses him softly.

‘Don’t make me hard on my workplace.’

‘I’m not that type Cas, but, imagining having you right now, on his desk, makes me doubt my own self-restrain and I’m not even sorry.’

Cas can’t do anything because Sam’s mouth is hungrily on his. Cas is threatened to fall back if he doesn’t hurry to hold on Sam’s neck and crash their tongues together.

‘Have to go to the teachers’ room.’ Cas gasps when he pushes Sam away.

‘I don’t want to go.’ Sam presses forehead to his.

‘I’ll call you later.’ Cas caresses his cheek.

‘Alright.’ Sam sighs sadly and gives him one last kiss before walking out of the classroom. Needless to say that Cas’ students look at him funnily during the entire class and Cas just tries to ignore them. At the middle of the class he just tells them to open their books and read while Cas pretends to be busy when actually he can’t stop thinking of Sam talking about sex and how much Cas wants to do it.

During those 2 months Castiel’s nightmares reduce. He starts smiling a lot more and everyone notices. Being in a relationship boasts his self confidence. And when he finally stops thinking that Sam is too good to be true, his doubts light up again.


	17. Chapter 17

The 3rd Friday of June, Cas decided to surprise Sam and leaves for lunch. When the reaches the bookstore he stops by the window as a book catches his attention and he will just ask Sam about it. He hasn’t entered the store when he sees something through the window - Sam is smiling wide while hugging a man that’s just slightly shorter than him and that stranger is clinging on Sam. Cas’ stomach clenches and he stares for a while more. Sam pulls back from the man, smiling wide at him as if he sees the most beautiful thing on Earth. The stranger’s hand cups Sam’s face and Cas starts feeling uneasy. Sam looks like the happiest man on earth, standing to the other really closely. After a while more Sam pulls the man in another tight hug, arms around his shoulders and waist. Rock gets stuck in Castiel’s throat and he walks away fast as a storm of thoughts and doubts take over his mind.

The man is really distracted all day, glancing at his phone every 5 minutes. When Sam finally calls at 5:30 Cas wants to pick up immediately but he waits 2-3 rings before he answers.

‘Sam, hi.’

_‘Hey, Cas. What’ya doing?’_

‘I’m-‘ Cas thinks fast, he isn’t doing anything much since he had just came home. ‘Nothing really, I was thinking to pack some stuff and come over as always.’

‘ _I’m just calling you about that. I’m taking Harley and I’m going urgently to my parents for the weekend and I’ll be back Monday afternoon.’_

‘Oh- Uum, right. So-‘

‘ _I will call you during the weekend and when I’m back on Monday, I will leave Harley home and come to you.’_

‘What’s happening with your parents? Can I help or something?’

 _‘Family stuff, problems with the neighbors. Nothing to worry about. Cas, sorry, really. We usually spend the weekends together but- I really have to go there’_  

‘Don’t worry, it’s okay.’ Cas tries to sound all calm and normal, cheerful, but he is burning on the inside. Whole weekend without Sam, already missed the Friday and as much as he wants to believe Sam is telling the truth something tells him that the stranger from lunch is involved. But Sam is not like that. He would never cheat on Cas.

 _‘Cas, you there?’_ Sam’s voice echoes again and snatches Cas from his thoughts

‘Yes, I’m here.’

_‘I said that I’m sorry I can’t take you to my parents yet. Things are a bit complicated- I will miss you, Cas.’_

‘Yes, I-I will miss you too.’ Somehow Cas feels a bit calmer, Sam’s voice is honest. ‘Bye, Sam.’

_‘Bye-bye.’_

There’s still ache in Castiel’s heart once he hangs the phone up and drops on the couch, thinking. He replays Sam’s words again and again, and he sounds so sincere, and Cas knows his parents are having problems and understands the need to go visit them especially when they live barely 2 hours away. And still he feels that the dude that hugged Sam had a lot to do with him and if he is ex-boyfriend… or even lover, Cas would fight with Sam, big time.

On the following morning Cas gets a text from Sam ‘ _Morning sunshine. Miss u.’_ Cas smiles at the text and starts typing answer but stops… For a moment he sees Sam cuddled up with the other man, who knows in what hotel, or even his room at his parents and Sam just tries not t be suspicious. Cas locks his phone, without answering and leaves it in the bedroom. He prepares for the day and goes out shopping and distracting.

Much later, he turns the stove on to warm some dinner. And while waiting for it he finally decides to check his phone. There are 3 texts and 6 missed calls. Cas feels coldness down his spine. What if he is wrong? He must be wrong. Sam has been so passionate about their relationship since the very beginning, the honesty in his voice tells a lot. Then why Cas feels heaviness in his gut? Is it because the sex, or more accurate, the lack of sex? Does Sam has a fuck buddy for that matter? Cas feels sick again and takes some time before he can call Sam after re-reading his messages and wondering how truly concern his boyfriend is.

‘ _Cas, hey, are you okay?’_ He blurts out fast, had picked up the phone after one signal.

‘Yes, yes I’m okay. I saw you called me.’

 _‘I’ve been calling all day and sent you messages and you didn’t respond ones and I got so worried, Cas.’_ Cas can hear the concern in Sam’s voice and smiles slightly, imaging his face.

‘I’m sorry… I was busy.’ Cas answers quietly and shortly.

_‘Tell me about your day. I missed you.’_

‘Nothing interesting. I went shopping in the morning. Had coffee with few colleagues, graded tests all afternoon and just now I will eat and watch something before bed.’

_‘I can’t wait to come home. Harley seems sad, I think he misses you too.’_

‘Scratch him from me.’

_‘Sure will. Cas, I want you to come Monday night for a special dinner over my place. And I want you to stay for the night.’_

Cas doesn’t answer. He thinks. Sam sounds really desperate for him. But what if he only wants to have dinner and for Cas to sleepover there just to pay for his sin of whatever he did during the weekend.

_‘Please? Even if you can’t stay to sleep… at least come for the dinner part. It’s really important to me.’_

‘Okay, okay, I will come. I won’t be able to wait until Tuesday.’ He really much wants to take the truth from Sam and if they will talk about it on dinner, then so be it. Mondays suck anyway.

 _‘Great, I can’t wait. I want to hug you and kiss you really hard.’_ Sam admits fast and quietly and Cas can practically hear the blush across his face. ‘ _Mom calls for dinner. I will… hear you tomorrow unless you want to-‘_

‘No, it’s okay. I can hear you tomorrow.’ Cas cuts him, knowing what Sam implies but the teacher doesn’t really want to jack off over the phone to his boyfriend that’s probably rolling in the sheets with his fuck buddy.

_‘Yes, you are probably tired. Things here are going fine. I will tell you more on Monday.’_

‘Sure. Good night, Sam.’

‘ _Night, Cas.’_ Sam answers and both linger on the phone for a while, expecting to hear more but both hang up.

Cas feels a bit calmer about the situation but not really. He gets new nightmare that same night. Sitting up in bed, breathless and sweaty he can’t recognize his own bedroom at first but after few seconds the reality hits him and he calms down a bit. He needs to get Sam’s arms around him but Sam is not there… Cas doesn’t want to think about Sam and where he is… or with whom he is. He doesn’t go back to sleep. There’s milk in the fridge and he warms up a glass sitting in front of the TV. Loony tunes and warm milk just calm him down and after nearly an hour he is asleep again on the couch.

It’s nearly lunch when he wakes up on Sunday and he is starving so he prepares fast pasta and sits in front of the TV again. An hour after that he checks his phone and it’s flooded with missed calls and messages so he dials Sam.

‘Morning’ Cas greets gravely.

 _‘Jesus Christ, Cas, morning? It’s noon.’_ Sam sighs heavily on the other side and Cas thinks he can feel his breath against his cheek. ‘ _Are you okay?’_

‘Yes, why?’ The man lies and feels awful right after.

 _‘You sound weird and you didn’t answer me all morning.’_ Sam sounds more concern than angry or accusing.

‘Nothing to worry about. I fell asleep on the couch and haven’t heard the phone.’ Cas explains and smiles slightly, convinced that maybe Sam is not cheating on him otherwise he wouldn’t have been so concern.

 _‘I didn’t sleep much last night-‘_ Sam admits quietly. ‘ _Something is making me uneasy since Friday and I just- I just want to see you as soon as possible.’_

‘Tomorrow at the dinner.’ Cas reminds him. Then there’s a low muffled voice on the other line, a man talking and Sam responding with almost the same roughness as the other voice, different than the one he uses when he talks to Cas and the teacher feels his blood slowly starting to boil.

 _‘I have to go Cas. Time to dress up and get some work done.’_ Sam sighs.

Dozens of pictures play in Castiel’s mind by those words and he feels his stomach turning.

‘Right. See you tomorrow.’ He says fast and hangs the phone up, confused with his own thoughts and feelings.

No matter how much they talked about each other and for how long they knew each other Cas suddenly feels as if he barely knows anything. He never met Sam’s family, never seen pictures, Sam barely talked about them, and who knows what kind of life Sam actually has and Cas lives in a illusion with him. A scene like those from the movies that he thinks it’s a reality. ‘ _Dress up and get some work done._ ’ – he has been rolling in the sheets with that guy all morning and ‘been worried’ why Cas wasn’t answering… Castiel turns his phone off, leaves the dishes in the sink takes his keys and money and leaves.


	18. Chapter 18

Cas has been anxious about many things many times but nothing can compare to that moment. Monday, 6pm, he walks towards Sam’s neighborhood. With every step his heart speeds up. He wasn’t that nervous for their first date as much as he is nervous now. He has no idea what to expect. He is going to Sam still in relationship and he might leave as a single teacher again. But he doesn’t want it. No, he wants Sam he needs him and he is scared.

Every step up the stairs echoes through his ears, his heart pounding in his ears and lord if he appears at the door all red and ready to cry… He takes a few breaths and rings the bell, immediately hearing Harley barking. Then there’s Sam’s voice calming him down and rushing to the door. He opens up fast and flashes dimpled smile at Cas that just doesn’t fail to melt him. Cas opens his mouth to say something, totally stupid, like ‘here I am’ but then Sam is out on the doorstep and hugging him hard by his waist, face in his neck. Sam instinctively hugged him back around the neck and felt so warm and calm all of a sudden, closing eyes and relaxing in Sam’s hug. If they were to split up Sam’ wasn’t going to act like that and slight relieve spreads through Cas.

‘I missed you.’ Sam smiles on his skin and closes eyes too.

 And Cas wants to answers, though he is caught off guard and doesn’t really know how to react or feel anymore. He thinks fast what to say but then Sam catches his hand and drags him inside. Cas smiles at Harley.

Then there’s the same guy – the one that was hugging Sam in the bookstore, gorgeous, green eyes, freckle-covered face, dark blonde hair, he smiles at Cas and waits for Sam to come between them. Cas can’t deny he looks amazing. His stomach clenches and he is really confused.

‘Cas, I want you to meet-‘

‘Yes I know’ Cas blurts fast and keeps his chin up. ‘I saw you. In the bookstore on Friday.’

The man looks at Sam a bit alarmed by the other’s reaction.

‘What do you mean?’ Sam frowns.

‘You and him.’ Cas becomes completely serious, face going red as he turns at Sam ‘You and him hugging and touching in the bookstore… and spending the weekend together…’

Both men stare at Castiel for few seconds and their eyes go wide.

‘Oh God, no, Cas.’ Sam runs fingers through his hair and shakes head ‘You didn’t think him and I… aw gawd.’ He turns red and the other one laughs low. Cas suddenly feels even more confused and embarrassed. ‘Cas-‘ Sam takes his hand and speaks calmly ‘Please, meet my brother Dean.’ Cas feels cold sweat down his entire body and soul and his mouth gaps. ‘Dean, this is my boyfriend, Castiel, I told you about him.’

‘I’m glad to finally meet you.’ Dean takes to shake Castiel’s hand, grinning with amusement.

‘Oh my-‘ Cas finally utters ‘It’s nice to meet you too- I- I am … extremely sorry.’ He doesn’t really know what to say. He is totally embarrassed and shocked.

‘Nah, it’s okay. It’s funny to know that my brother’s boyfriend considers me a threat.’

‘Come on. Dinner is running cold.’ Sam prompts and wraps arm around Castiel’s waist to lead him in the kitchen with no chance to escape.

Still surprised, a bit shocked, Castiel washes his hands and comes on the table, followed by Sam and Dean pours wine in their glasses. Sam raises his glass and Dean and Cas follow.

‘I raise a toast to welcome Dean back home.’ Sam looks and smiles at his brother warmly, his chest heavy with happy tears. Dean is smiling back him with green sparkling eyes. Then Sam looks at Cas ‘And for our 2-month anniversary.’

Cas stares Sam almost in disbelief. ‘We have… anniversary?’

‘Well-‘ Sam shrugs a bit ‘I counted it and I think it’s today.’ He takes out his phone and shows Cas the calendar.

‘Oh-‘ Cas utters and he is suddenly red.

‘Congratulations’ Dean grins and pats his brother’s shoulder.

‘You are right, Sam. I’m sorry I didn’t think of that. We didn’t celebrate last month. I didn’t get you anything…’

Sam catches Cas’ hand, holding it gently on the table and looking right at his blue worried eyes, and smiles warmly, dreamy at him ‘Don’t worry. Presents doesn’t matter as long as you are here with me. Maybe we should start celebrating from now on.’

Castiel is blushing, and he can swear it’s crawling down his neck. Sam is absolutely serious, and his brother is watching them and the teacher is not used to that and if Sam leans to give him one of those wet, breathtaking kisses, he would be so embarrassed. Seems that Sam knows it somehow and probably he is shy too in front of his brother so he only knocks glass in Castiel’s and they both take a sip.

‘No kiss?’ Dean gasps as if really unpleasantly surprised. Castiel looks down at his food, trying not to grin, and Sam just snorts.

‘We…. haven’t done it in public.’

‘I’m not public. I’m your brother.’ Sam is about to give him a lecture but Dean raises his hands ‘Hey, it’s okay. I’m not making you do anything you are not comfortable with.’ Sam gives him a thankful nod and they continue the dinner.

‘I’m really sorry for the misunderstanding’ Cas starts ‘I was really stupid.’

‘Cas, I said, it was okay.’ Sam sighs, not that irritated but worried his boyfriend would think about it longer than needed. 

‘Sam, I just- you don’t talk about your family much.’

‘He has always been like that.’ Dean shrugs. ‘We all don’t really burn with need to present the families to our significant other.’

‘I should have told you more about my brother.’ Sam says ‘But he was in Europe for an year and a half and I just- missed him-‘ He looks between them shortly and takes a sip from his wine.’

‘I have never been happier to return home, Sammy. I missed you more than I missed anyone else.‘

‘He really surprised me on Friday. My mind went blank and I was so happy to see him again. And we traveled to my parents’ house the same day.’

‘They all knew Dean was coming and I didn’t.’

‘The look on your face was worth it.’

‘I really wish you were with us.’ Sam squeezes Castiel’s hand shortly.

‘One day maybe. It’s your family. You will decide if you want to present me.’  

Sam and Dean give each other a look that feels full of words that Castiel doesn’t understand. 

‘So how did you to meet?’ Dean grins and bites from his pasta, looking at them with interest.

Harley comes to the table and probes his front paws on the edge, looking around the table.

‘Christ, Harley, get off the table’ Sam reaches a hand across the table to shoo Harley away. Harley barks happily which makes Cas jerk on his chair and stare at the door alarmed. Dean notices but doesn’t say anything while Harley takes Harley’s collar and pulls him out of the kitchen. When he comes back he continues. ‘Well Harley jumped on Cas in the park. And to apologies I invited him on a coffee and things just happened.’

‘I thought it was more romantic.’

‘Believe me, it wasn’t.’ Cas chuckles and glimpses at Sam who shakes head. ‘And what are you doing in Europe?’

‘I’m inspecting car factories all over there. I live in Rome, Italy, with my wife and my 2-year-old daughter.’

‘Little Melody is the most gorgeous girl you have ever seen.’ Sam explains to Cas.

‘I would love to meet them.’ Cas smiles.

‘You will for sure. Next week I’m going back there and at the end of August we are coming back here for the wedding.’

‘Wedding?’ Cas frows a bit and darts gaze between the brothers. 

‘Yes’  Sam turns to Cas ‘Our cousin Jo is getting married and we are invited.’

‘That’s great.’ Cas smiles and squeezes Sam’s hand.

‘Cas, I told them I might bring someone with me. I haven’t told them about you yet. Things are a bit complicated.’

‘It’s okay.’ Cas smiles softly and rubs his skin soothingly.

‘Only Dean, Ruby and Gabriel know about you. I mean… I trust them not to judge me about it.’

Castiel nods and doesn’t question. By Sam words he assumes that his family is not really open for the different things, not open for Sam’s choice of partner. Cas would lie if he admits he is not worried, because he actually is. He won’t give up on Sam no matter what and he will be hurt if his family won’t accept him. He is good, Sam is good, why it would matter who they have choose to be with it if they are happy and okay?

‘Mom and dad’ house and yard are huge and the ceremony and the celebration will be held there and we had to prepare some stuff from now. Thank god Dean will come a week before the wedding so we can finish up with some more family members.’

‘I would like to help. Although I feel weird I’m going to attend the wedding of someone I don’t know.’

‘Come on, everyone does that. I’m pretty sure there will be people who would be happy for me for having a boyfriend… just not everyone.’ Heavy silence.  

Dean changes the subjects back to Castiel’s occupation, hobbies; they talk about how he and Sam are doing since they are together. Dean invites them to come to Rome for Christmas or New Year. Dean asks Sam if he decided to buy a second dog as he have planned for months and Sam shifts uncomfortably on his seat, saying he changed his mind and for now he won’t. He knows Castiel is frowning at him and that they would probably talk a lot about it after that. Dean decides to leave around 8, so he can go back to their parents’ house before 10.

‘I’m flying back to Italy Sunday night. Will I see you one more time before I do?’ Dean leans at the door frame with hands in his pockets.

‘I may come Friday night.’ Sam nods and looks towards the kitchen. ‘Though it’s a bit difficult to imagine one more weekend away from him.’

‘You really like him, don’t you, Sammy?’ Dean smirks.

‘I’ve never been happier. I mean… that feeling when you met someone, a stranger, and he is just so interesting, and you love to spend your time with him, and you bring him coffee in bed and know he will be always there for you… Dean, I can’t explain.’

‘I know what you mean. I’m married if you haven’t noticed.’ Dean chuckles.

‘Your situation is different, Dean.’

‘But I was on your place once. Tell you what, take him with you on Friday. Present him to the family. I’ll be there to support you.’

‘I don’t think it’s a good idea.’ Sam says quietly. ‘I don’t think it’s time. I mean… it’s pretty serious between us I guess. We don’t live together yet but… I feel it.’ Sam sighs, unable to explain all of his emotions just like that. He never thought how difficult it could be.

‘Alright, it’s your decision. I’ll see you on Friday.’

‘Yeah, good night. Drive safe. Text me when you arrive so I know you are okay.’

‘Sure thing. Night, Sammy.’ Dean hugs his brother fast and goes down the stairs.

Sam closes and locks the door, returning to the kitchen where Cas is washing the dishes from the dinner. He approaches quietly and wraps his arms around Castiel’s waist, burying face in his neck and peppering kitty cat kisses in his skin. He sighs, warm breath making Cas shudder slightly.

‘Had fun?’

‘Yes. Your brother is really nice and smart.’

‘I’m glad you liked each other. It’s really important to me.’

Cas sighs and leaves the dishes, turning the water off and heavy silence falls again. Sam strokes hands fast up and down Castiel’s sides but he doesn’t respond.

‘Caaaas, what is it?’ Sam carefully turns him around and Cas avoids eye contact, sighing again. ‘Please, don’t do that. Talk to me.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Cas, I said I’m sorry. I was so excited that Dean was back that I-‘

‘No, Sam… I mean yes, about that too, but you never told me you wanted a second dog.’

‘I been planning to have a second for over 2 years now and I still haven’t got one.’

‘Even less now when I’m with you… the one that can’t stand around dogs.’

‘No, this has nothing to do with it. Cas, a second dog means double responsibility. Besides I don’t know if Harley would like a new dog home. And I have you now.’ Sam hunches down a bit, hugging Cas’ waist and bumping nose into his, kissing his cheek tenderly ‘I have everything I ever wanted. I’m happy, Cas. I want you to be too. And not torture your brain with thoughts like I can be better off without you, because I wouldn’t. I wish you finally understood that – I need you in my life.’   

Castiel looks up at him, reading the honesty in Sam’s beautiful olive green eyes and his dimpled smile makes Cas smile too. He holds on Sam’s biceps and offers lips for a kiss. Sam grants it – slow and loving, sucking Castiel’s full bottom lip and pressing him against the sink.

‘Staying tonight? I promise more of those if you do’ Sam hums and sucks a hickey under Castiel’s ear until his knees go weak.

‘Damned I be If I don’t stay.’ Cas growls a bit and chews his lip. ‘I will change in something of yours and wait you on the couch to watch Music Idol.’

‘I’m finishing the dishes fast and I will join you.’ Sam nods and kisses his lips again which turns in another make out session.

Later the night they cuddle under the covers, Sam’s arm around Castiel’s waist, legs tangled, Harley relaxing at the down side of the bed.

‘When did you realize you were gay?’ Cas suddenly asks quietly.

‘What?’ Sam huffs.

‘Come on, you never told me. When did you realize you liked dicks?’

‘Let’s see then. I started looking at boys when I was 13 but never put much thought in it. I had a girlfriend for over a year but turned out she was lesbian so we broke up but stayed very close friends.  After some more time I thought my crush over boys was only a phase of exploring myself but as time passed and after I had a huge crush on my English teacher I realized I was gay. I was scared. I couldn’t imagine telling anyone besides my lesbian friend. Before I left for college I only told my brother. He grinned like an idiot and admitted he knew it before me. He promised not to tell anyone until I do it myself. Years passed and here I am with parents that are still unaware of my sexual orientation but keep talking about having a girlfriend and marriage and kids…’ Sam sighs and yawns.

‘Have you watched porn back then?’ Cas chuckles and draws figures on Sam’s skin through his shirt. 

‘Jesus, Cas.’ Sam laughs and covers his face.

‘Do tell.’ Cas urges him and pinches his nipple.

‘Ouch. Yes, yes, okay, yes I did.’ Sam laughs again and catches Castiel’s wrists to stop him from tickling and pinching ‘I tried watching porn and pleasure myself and I know what you are going to ask and yes, I mostly watched gay porn and I loved it.’

He growls the last few words and rolls over Cas and bites down on his neck playfully. But how would he know it is a bad idea. Castiel’s eyes shut close and cries throatily, desperately, arching his back and trying to push Sam off of him. Sam immediately pulls back and stares down at the smaller man whose head is pressed back at the pillow and palm pressed to his neck.

‘Cas, are you okay?’ Sam cups his cheek and tries to make him look up. ‘Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to bite hard-’ Cas takes few breaths, face red with slight panic and mostly embarrassment. He blinks up at Sam, eyes watery and looks away, unable to tame his trembling lip. ‘Hey, Cas, what happened now?’ Sam worries all of a sudden. They were having fun just few seconds ago and Castiel is suddenly upset.

‘I’m sorry.’ Cas whispers, voice surprisingly controlled. ‘I know you meant it to be playful and sexy but-‘

‘But what?’

‘You can’t bite someone who almost died from a dog bite.’ Castiel’s explains quietly, almost unable to look at Sam.

‘Crap… Cas, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.’ Sam whispers and rubs finger gently over his cheek, brows locked with sadness. ‘Won’t do that again.’ He kisses Cas’ forehead and rolls back to his side of the bed, arm around Cas’ waist and pulls him closer to him until Cas snuggles to his chest.

‘I’m okay… even I didn’t know until now.’

‘Really?’ Sam whispers on his hair and rubs his back.

‘No one ever bit me playfully before.’ A cheerful note sneaks in his voice. ‘At least I know it’s not a good idea for the future.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Sam whispers again and hugs Cas tighter as if that would help him earn forgiveness. And forgiveness is received as a pinch at the nipple.


	19. Chapter 19

Castiel spends 3 hours of the late afternoon and early evening on Friday with Sam in his apartment. The man packs a bag for the weekend and cuddles with Cas on the couch while eating toasts with tea for a light afternoon snack. Sam tells Cas more about his family. He admits that there is no one else in the family that’s with his different sexual orientation and that if they find out most of them won’t react shocked or anything. But maybe there would be 1-2 heads who would not approve. Cas listens carefully and nods, hums to show understanding, hands twined and rubs circles with his thumb over Sam’s skin. Sam feels completely comfortable like that, the nervousness from talking about his family completely gone by the time he is done. Cas only smiles and pecks his lips then.

‘I can’t wait to meet them one day.’

‘Take the car and go. I will buy a ticket to Australia.’ Sam huffs and shakes head. ‘I’m terrified for the moment I have to present you to my family.’ He speaks quietly and looks at Cas who seems not charmed from Sam’s words ‘I mean, it’s not something like being ashamed from you, of course not, Cas you are amazing, handsome, smart…’ Sam recites, implying so much feels in his words until Cas blushes and squeezes his lips, trying not to grin like an idiot ‘I really don’t mind to let the world know you are all mine and mark you so everyone know you belong to me in all the ways-‘

‘Sam, finish your thought before you end up pinning me to the couch.’ Cas chuckles and strokes his hand up Sam’s arm, biting shortly on his bottom lip as Sam’s eye go all bedroom-eyes, and sliding down Castiel’s neck.

‘Yes, I mean even all that, it’s scary to present to your family, the one you chose, those who raised you and saw you grow into the person you are now and you don’t know how they will react. I mean, by the person you chose they understand if they raised you right. I don’t want to disappoint them.’  

Castiel smiles warmly and kisses his forehead, cradling Sam’s hands in his own.

‘But also don’t forget, that you have to be happy too. It’s your life. Everyone else should just accept it. You are big and smart enough to know what’s good enough for you. And if you think I’m good enough for you… then I feel blessed because I don’t know a better person as yourself, Sam – carrying, selfless, understanding, emotional, handsome inside and outside. I don’t need to worry about anything because I can trust you.’

Sam’s hand rests at the back of Castiel’s neck, pulling him closer until his mouth captures Castiel’s. It’s wet, hot, long, and loving and Cas is grasping on Sam’s shirt, lips puckered forward into Sam’s mouth whose hand comes around his waist. He detaches their lips really slowly and rests forehead against Castiel’s.

‘You make it difficult, Cas.’ He whispers and Castiel frowns confused. ‘I have to travel soon, be gone for the weekend while I want to spend every minute wrapped around you, my treasure.’

‘I’ll miss you too.’ Cas whispers back and plants two kisses on the either sides of Sam’s mouth.

At 7pm. later Sam shuts the back door of the jeep where Harley is waiting and turns to Cas.

‘Only two nights. I will call you.’

Cas nods and lifts a bit on his tiptoes when Sam throws his arms over Cas’ shoulders and hugs him tight to his body. Castiel’s arms come under his armpits and lock on his back, hugging hard. They stay in silence, hugged, Cas face in Sam’s neck, inhaling his sweet smell, surrounded by his warmth and he doesn’t want to let go. He sniffles quietly and his chest jumps up with the emotions.

‘Hey, hey, Cas, what is it?’ Sam pushes him off carefully and Cas avoids eye contact, eyes obviously glistening with tears. ‘Look at me.’ Sam catches his chin between fingers and turns his face forward. ‘Why those watery eyes, beautiful?’

‘I’ll miss you.’ Cas answers grumpily and pushes Sam’s hand, trying to act all tough.

‘I know… I’ll miss you too.’ Sam cups his face gently and presses their lips in the most tender, sweet kiss. Cas curls his fingers in his jacket and presses him against the jeep forcing tongue in Sam’s mouth, until he grants access and moans shortly by the wet insisting feeling. Cas keeps pressing him against the car, eating his mouth out and Sam feels himself heating up and slowly changing his mind about the travel. His knees go weak, fingers grasping Castiel’s hipbones. Suddenly the lips are gone and there’s only a heavy breath on Sam’s moisten lips.

‘You have to go.’ He orders quietly and blinks up, meeting Sam’s dizzy expression. He licks his lips and finally closes his mouth, nodding.

‘Yes. Right. I will call you before bed.’

The man can’t help but kiss Castiel one last time before going behind the wheel. Castiel watches as the jeep drives down the street and Harley’s face watching him from the back window. He whines shortly and sadly.

‘I know. I’ll miss him too.’ Sam says quietly, glancing briefly in the back-sight mirror.

Sam doesn’t have much time to think of Castiel back home, when he arrives to his parents’ house. He has to help outside to his dad and Dean and Marry has been calling them for dinner for 20 minutes already. During the dinner they jump from subject on subject. Dean plans to take them all on a vacation in Europe. He almost gives out about Castiel and Sam can feel his heart in his throat. Thank god Mary and John don’t suspect anything, probably thinking Dean is talking about Harley.

‘Sam, honey, anything new around you?’ Mary get curious, and Sam can sense where this conversation is going.

‘Hm?’ He leaves his glass and clears his throat. ‘Mm, not really. We got another award with Harley on the annual dog competition but you already know that. Everything is going great in the bookstore. I’m actually thinking to write something and try my luck. Being around books and reading them all day, kind-a inspire you.’ He wasn’t lying, but wasn’t telling the entire truth either.

‘Your mom is asking if you are still single.’ John laughs shortly and Sam feels hotness rising from his chest.

‘N-no, yes, I mean-‘ Sam stutters and tries to cover up everything, feeling his brother’s eyes pinned on him. ‘Yes, I’m still single. As everytime you ask. You know I will tell you if I- met someone.’ And if Dean is not judging him with gaze.

‘You’ve been repeating that for years.’ Mary sighs. ‘We met your last girlfriend only once, years ago and you broke up not late after.’

‘Mom-‘ Sam sighs.

‘We are not pushing you, Sam.’ John shrugs. ‘Everyone from the family, all relatives are in relationships. All of your cousins are married, Jo in 2 months. We don’t want you to be the single Winchester.’

‘I don’t even have 30 yet. I’m not going to be single forever.’

‘I’m not dying until I see both my sons happily married with children.’ Mary insists.

‘Hey, hey, hey’ Dean frowns and points his fork at his mother. ‘No one is dying, okay? I’m married and you have a granddaughter already.’  

‘I know, but as I said, I want both of my sons to be happy and have loving families.’

‘We are happy mom. Don’t worry.’ Sam smiles warmly, and for a moment he feels like he wants so spit it out. Just tell them there’s a handsome teacher back home that he really, really, really much likes. But then looking at his father again the urge to admit suddenly disappears.

Once Sam is in bed he immediately calls Cas and takes good 10 minutes to coo with him on the phone, _what are you wearing, I miss you, remember that night when we…, the things I want to do to you when I’m back…_

Mary is about to knock on the door when he hears Sam’s low voice, then chuckling and she waits little more trying to figure out but unsuccessfully. She knocks and in a few seconds Sam comes to open up. 

‘Everything okay, honey?’ She smiles.

‘Yes, perfect. I love the smell of my bed sheets. Reminds me of when I was still leaving here.’

‘You know this will always be your home, Sam.’ Mary steps forward and reaches arms up to her son. Sam wraps his huge arms around her and hugs her. ‘Oh, Sam, you grew up so fast, so big and strong. I’m so proud of you. Both with your dad are.’

‘Thanks mom.’ Sam whispers in her hair and closes his eyes, not feeling big and strong at all, just as little as his 10-year-old emotional self that loved to climb up in mom’s lap and tuck his head under her chin and listen to her soft voice reading him tales.

‘Pancakes for breakfast?’ She smiles when they separate.

‘Yeah.’ He nods ‘Maple Syrup?’

‘Of course.’ Mary gives him a knowing look and kisses his forehead. ‘Good night Sam, sleep tight.’

‘Night, mom.’ He squeezes her hand shortly and watches her going back downstairs before closing the door.

The weekend is busy, and although there are 2 months till Jo’s wedding Mary repeats how they don’t have time. John complains that it’s the last time he prepares someone’s wedding. Not that he doesn’t love Jo and wouldn’t do anything for the family, but preparing the entire garden to meet like 200 guests is not exactly relaxing.  In spite the huge house and the many possible rooms for sleeping, Mary worries if they will be able to accommodate all of the closest family members and of course leave room for Jo and her bride mates to prepare.  

Somehow Dean manages to fight and scare the neighbor something along the words ‘ _listen old man’, ‘big moment for my cousin’, ‘sick of your bullshit’, ‘I’m from Italy and I know people who work in the mafia’_ … The man goes all pale and doesn’t say a word. Dean has always been scarier than Sam and the younger brother thanks him. He has been fighting his old idiot for months and he was getting sick of it.

Dean says he will come with his wife and the daughter one week before the wedding so he can help with the preparation and let Mary see her granddaughter again. He says goodbye with his parents and then with Dean and wishes him a safe flight. Dean hugs back his brother and wishes him all the best and to still be with Cas when he comes back.

‘You have to tell mom and dad.’ He pats him on the back.

‘I know.’ Sam pats him back, feeling unable to contain his tears, god knows why.

Sam gets in his jeep with Harley and drives back home, calling Cas to announce his return and invite him to come over his place.

What Sam doesn’t know is that Cas has already used the second key Sam had given him few weeks ago, to enter Sam’s apartment, prepare dinner, take a shower and set romantic atmosphere that for a moment looks cheesy but then he wants something cheesy and romantic and stupid and receive stupid kisses from Sam.

When Sam parks the jeep in the back and opens the back door of Harley, the dog shoots fast from it and runs to the back entrance of the building, barking and whining. Sam rolls eyes, and throws the rucksack over shoulder following his pet and opening the door. Harley rushes up the stairs and keeps whining and barking.

‘Harley.’ Sam hisses and follows him fast. He has never acted like that before and Sam is worried that the neighbors will complain from the noise. He catches up on Harley in front of his apartment’s door and yanks his collar ‘What are you acting like that, huh?’

Harley doesn’t pay him attention and keeps whining and barking high-pitched at the door. Sam looks suspiciously at the door and back at Harley and for a moment he worries. What if someone is in his apartment to rob it? But Harley wouldn’t act like that if it was a robbery. Sam fumbles with the keys and unlocks the door. Harley rushes in first and Sam follows quietly. The apartment smells incredibly good and Sam’s eyebrows shot to his forehead. ‘Hello?’

He leaves the rucksack and takes off his jacket. When he turns around there’s suddenly Castiel who throws himself over Sam, wrapping limbs around him, arms around neck and legs around waist. Sam gasps and holds him tight by his waist.

‘Whoa! Cas?!’ He grins and stumbles back a bit and laughs. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Aren’t you happy to see me?’ Cas tilts head and combs fingers through Sam’s hair.

‘More than happy.’ Sam breathes out and turns around, pressing Castiel against the door and sealing their mouths together, tongues going deep and needy. Sam’s hands travel down Castiel’s back cupping his sweat-pants wrapped ass and _fuck_ if it doesn’t feel good for both of them.

‘Dinner… waiting. And desert for later.’ Cas mumbles between kisses, barely stopping his hips for rolling up at Sam and flushing a slight pink.

‘I’ll take a fast shower and join you on the table.’

‘Are you tired?’

‘Not really. We didn’t do much today. I’m not tired for you.’ Sam’s dimples cut through his cheeks and Cas tries to contain his grin. Although they don’t like it, Sam lets Cas carefully on the ground and gives his buttcheek a light squeeze ‘I really like that round beauty.’ He whispers in Cas’ ear before heading to the bedroom. Cas feels his face going entirely red, also feeling slightly aroused but first things first.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter with explicit sexual content starting around the middle of it. Sexual talking in the beginning.   
> Readers uncomfortable with sexual content can skip to next chapter without missing out important plot points.

During dinner Sam tells Cas how the wedding preparation goes and that he is really excited but also nervous, knowing that very soon he has to present Cas to the family. Cas prepares the fruit salads desert while Sam washes the dishes and they cuddle up on the couch, feeding each other fruit salad with whipped cream. Castiel licking Sam’s fingers clean makes the man shift a bit and make his blood travel south. Cas notices and smirks, feeding Sam a slice of apple. They finish the salads pretty fast and Cas settles in Sam’s lap, kissing each other until the whipped cream can’t be tasted anymore. Sam’s strong arms hold Cas close to his body, stroking his back gently, relaxing him, sharing warmth and caresses. They both have been waiting for that night since Friday. The kisses are no longer dry pecks but erotic and wet, breaths heavier, and Sam’s hands touching here and there.

‘Sam’ Cas whispers on his lips and strokes palms down his chest.

‘Cas’ Sam whispers back and grips Castiel’s hipbone, capturing his bottom lip between his lips.

‘Sam’ Cas calls again and cups Sam’s face to actually talk to him. ‘Sex.’

Sam stares him, blinks a bit confused ‘What about it?’

‘Do you… want?’ Cas asks quietly, his eyes darken with arousal and hope.

Sam’s lips part and he drags thumb over Castiel’s bottom lip. ‘Yeah. A lot. Only if you want.’

‘Wanted it for a while, but now I’m sure. I hoped tonight to be perfect so we-‘

Sam cuts him with mouth on his slowly lying him down the length of the couch. ‘It’s always perfect with you.’ He whispers, smiling warmly and pushing hands under Casitel’s shirt. The teacher however holds on his biceps and breaks the kiss.

‘Can we talk first-? And move to the bedroom…?’

‘Of course.’ Sam moves to the side, not to lie his entire weight on Castiel but keeps arm wrapped around his waist, planting kisses on his neck. ‘What you want to talk about?’

‘Awkward stuff.’ Cas shrugs a bit.

‘What awkward stuff?’ Sam laughs ‘Aren’t we going to have sex soon?’

‘Yes, we are, but come on, awkward stuff in sexy times or first kiss… anything.’

‘My first kiss was with my first girlfriend, the one I told you about that turned out to be lesbian. So nothing funny in my first kiss.’

‘Mine was pretty normal too. How about your first time?’

‘Gosh, this is embarrassing.’ Sam whines shortly and hides his face in Castiel’s neck.

‘Tell me, please.’ Cas combs fingers through his hair and caresses his cheek. ‘What happened?’

‘It was actually pretty good. I was in college with my first real boyfriend. He was more skillful so he let me top first. And it was amazing. Then I wanted to bottom, to see how it feels, and my boyfriend then was needier and, well he wanted it too. It’s embarrassing because- I wasn’t sure if I could handle it the first moment he- he sank in completely and I started crying quietly with face pressed in the pillow. I didn’t stop crying till the end but it was because it felt so damn good and well despite the new feeling and the tears I got the best orgasm.’

‘Is that the embarrassing thing? Crying during sex? That’s not embarrassing.’

‘Yeah, right.’ Sam huffs and shakes head a bit.

‘Really.’ Cas cups his face and smiles ‘You’ve been emotional. And it’s okay. It’s something close and intimate and odd in the beginning but if you are with the right person you should not be ashamed.’ Sam is blushing and smiling thankful to Cas’ understanding before receiving a kiss from him. ‘You still had more fun on your first time.’

Sam frowns ‘How was yours?’

Cas swallows and takes some time before speaking, being a lot quieter ‘I-I bled on my first time.’

‘Shit, what happened?’ Sam probes up, placing palm on the side of Castiel’s neck, interested and worried.

‘I guess I wasn’t completely relaxed. He prepared me good, I think, and the whole act was good, I enjoyed it, thinking the uncomfortable part was because it was first time. When we were done there were blood stains on the sheet and after some time he was out of me I felt it. He said he popped my cherry real good, that I looked so pretty, he was happy we did it… I kept feeling weird days after and after little more research I understood I wasn’t supposed to bleed. I was scared to have to sex for years after that.’

‘Whoever that was he has been a huge asshole.’ Sam murmurs and presses lips to Cas’ forehead ‘You deserve gentle touches, soft kisses, care.’

‘And I trust you can give me that.’ Cas whispers, eyes closed.

‘I will make you feel on the top of the world.’ Sam promises in his ear and moves on kissing around Castiel’s neck, hand sliding down his side and his thigh. ‘Worship that beautiful body.’

Castiel’s throat clenches by those words but doesn’t say a word, exhaling heavily and twining fingers with Sam’s. Cas spreads a bit his legs and lets Sam settle in between, feeling his groin pressed to his own and Sam’s mouth is hot on his, and feels so goddamn good pressed under the weight of the huge cutie from the bookstore. Sam rolls his hips up just the slightest and Cas already moans. He can swear Sam whispers a ‘ _fuck_ ’ and the next moment the teacher is in his strong arms carried to the bedroom.

The room is darkened, fresh with smell of clean bed sheets. They close the door so Harley can’t come in and Sam lays Cas on the bed, nuzzling his neck and sliding hands down his sides. Cas relaxes with knees bent and spread still, arms spread wide aside.

‘Gorgeous.’ Sam whispers and sucks lips to the tenderest part of Castiel’s neck, planning to mark it. Cas giggles slightly and curls fingers in the back of Sam’s hair.

Before they know, Sam is stripped to his underwear, half-hard in there which makes Cas blush slightly and turn his gaze back to Sam’s face. Sam wiggles his brows and licks lips, leaning down and curling fingers in Castiel’s sweat pants to pull them down those slim legs. Lord if Castiel’s breath is not already ceasing in his lungs, blush crawling up his chest, as he feels his dick going all excited with Sam’s fingertips up his naked thighs, and lips under his ear. Cas grabs Sam and after some fumbling with the bed cover they finally go under it.

‘Sam.’ Cas calls and finally manages to attract his attention. ‘Would you please lower the lights completely and light up the candles I have prepared?’

‘Sure.’

Sam nods and pecks him on the lips one more time before tripping and almost falling from the bed. After doing as he was asked he turns to the bed again just to see Cas sitting there with hand extended to the side of the bed, and drops his underwear. Sam swallows, licks lips again and crawls in bed fast again, pulling Cas flushed to his body, rubbing knee between his legs until the teacher moans again in his mouth. 

They make out for a while, rubbing against each other to full hardness and Sam strips the underwear too, rolling Cas on his side with back at Sam and rubbing his cock against Castiel’s butt crack. Cas gasps and shifts his head to the side, trying to look at Sam who immediately meets him with a kiss.

‘Preparation’ Cas exhales.

Sam hums and nods ‘I know. I will do it, don’t worry.’ He assures and kisses his shoulder. He realizes that Cas is nervous and his previous sexual acts haven’t been good enough and that’s part of the reason he insisted on talking about awkward situations, to make sure Sam knows what haven’t been good for Cas and avoid failing. ‘I’ll be gentle. Relax. Do you trust me?’ His hand goes around Cas naked waist and caresses his tummy.

‘I do.’

‘Will you now let me… get you ready?’

‘Yes, please.’  Cas smiles and bends his leg forward, earning a kiss on his cheek. His body is on fire, heart hammering against his chest, excited, wants it and is about to receive it.

Cas has forgotten the feeling and for a moment he wonders if they are really going to do it, but Sam is warm behind him, planting soft kisses on his skin as his finger, lubed up, circles Cas’ tight hole. Sam applies pressure and the tip of his finger sinks the slightest, making Cas clench.

‘It’s okay, relax.’

Soon after Sam’s finger is half inside, pushing until it’s completely in. And Cas is clenching again and Sam’s finger feels so hard and big already that he wonders if he would be able to take the real thing, knowing how big Sam is. He relaxes faster than expected and closes eyes.

Sam breathes heavy, open mouthed on his shoulder, blushing like a 15-year-old, because he is fingering his boyfriend, the cute blue-eyed teacher is in his bed and Sam has his finger in his hole, having him under his mercy, preparing him for their first intimate act and he is proud and excited, feeling all hot and turned on for being the top.

After a while more with one finger Sam adds a second and Cas moans shortly, turning his upper body so he can pull Sam closer to his face and make out with him. Sam stretches him in sync with his tongue fucking Cas’ mouth, his fingers finding the bundle of nerves that make Cas dick strain up and toes curl in. Sam adds some more lube and pushes back in adding a 3th finger and earning a slight bite on his bottom lip and short growl.

‘Good?’

‘3 is a lot.’ Cas mumbles.

‘Want me to stop?’

‘Don’t you dare.’ Cas throws an arm and catches the back of Sam’s neck, pulling back into a kiss.

‘You feel stimulated?’ Cas hums in answer. ‘Think you can finish only on my fingers?’

‘Probably… being close.’ Cas gasps as he rocks down and a jolt of pleasure hits his nerve system. ‘Want you inside more.’  

‘Let’s take that off and I’m in.’ Sam mouths along his jaw and tugs on Castiel’s shirt that he kept on all night.

‘Sam, can I control it? The… beginning of… the penetration?’

‘If you will feel comfortable like that, let’s do it. Just give me a sec.’

Sam turns to the night stand to his bed to grab a condom. Cas turns around just on time to see him opening it up with teeth, all concentrated with the red-ish colour of the candles falling on his beautiful face. Cas keeps the bed cover around his waist as he sits up and shifts to Sam whose arms wrap around him and pull him to straddle his lap. Cas holds on his shoulders and here are again face to face, staring each other in the eyes. Cas hooks some hair behind Sam’s ear, Sam smiles at him and lifts the shirt over Cas’ head throwing it away and stroking big palms down his back. No clothes, no embarrassment they sit still and ready to consume their relationship and Cas feels happy tears welling up.

‘You are beautiful.’ Sam whispers and tilts chin up, offering a kiss.

‘I’m so happy.’ Cas whispers back in the quietest way Sam ever heard, inhaling his breath and the kiss is soft, short, and they repeat as if they never did it before.

Sam slips some more lube in Castiel and grabs his thigh drawing him the closest he can and places the head of his cock on the loosen hole till it catches and Cas pushes down carefully. Sam gets sucked into the heat and Cas keeps sinking down awfully slowly, adjusting to the size, Sam gapping at him with closed eyes, only opening when Cas fingers caress his cheek. Cas sinks down completely and lets a punch out moan, squeezing eyes.

‘Okay?’ Sam gasps and grasps Cas’ hip.

‘So big… so good.’ Cas exhales and slowly starts moving up and down, adjusting more to the forgotten feeling of being filled up by something massive like Sam’s cock. His thighs quiver every time he sinks down completely and Sam is gapping and stroking hands all over Castiel‘s body. He can’t remember the last time being so deep in such a hot tightness and if feels a lot better than any other self-pleasuring moment. Cas drops his face into Sam’s neck and skillfully starts riding him, arching his back on the down-motion as the head brushes against his sensitive spot. He moans and Sam pants in his ear, kissing around his neck, tracing fingers down Castiel’s back. He leans back and probes himself on his free hand, letting Cas lean over him and find a better angle that already feels different for both of them. Cas tugs on Sam’s hair, making him expose his neck and suck lips around his Adam’s apple. Sam moans and swallows making it bob up and down. He holds Cas’ hip and the man slows the thrust.

‘Hold up.’ Sam exhales and Cas stops immediately combing fingers through Sam’s hair and when he is about to ask if everything is okay, Sam pulls out almost completely snaps hips up, entire back inside. Then he pulls out and snaps back in, repeating again and again. Cas’ jaw is slack, soft moans rolling over his lips. Sam wraps his arms around Castiel’s body, locks Cas legs around his waist and carefully rolls them over until his weight pins Cas down. He gasps and spreads his legs wider letting Sam move and split him with every thrust or careful slide in. It feels more than great. Cas moans, Sam groans, and Cas moans again and Sam follows with a groan. Mouths seal together again, skins glistening with sweat, pressure building up their abdomens and soon Sam starts pounding in Cas, chasing the release, hand finding Cas’ dick and helping him chase the pleasure too. Sam moves face to the crack of Castiel’s neck, sucking, licking, keeping teeth away. Castiel moans, cries shortly, clenches around Sam as his dick hits his prostate, making Cas arch and leak, and he is so damn close. His hand grabs Sam’s butt and moves in sync with him, their noises obscene.

Harley has been sitting by the couch since they hid in the bedroom. He hears the noises coming from the closed bedroom and lifts head up, tilting and letting curious whiny sounds. What is his owner doing it there?

When they finish, it’s all slow and hot, Sam’s hips jerking, Castiel’s thighs shaking, they feel extremely hot, panting for air, staring each other with flushed cheeks, hot sticky mess between their bellies from Cas’ release. They giggle stupidly, and Cas bites Sam’s bottom lip tugging playfully on it.

‘Perfect.’ Sam whispers and twines their fingers together, lifting Cas’ arms above his head and sealing mouths, tongues deep, wet and passionate. 

They don’t need more words, don’t need any words. Locked together, intimately close, feeling just perfect and right. After not too long Sam is ready for another round, growing big inside Cas again, making him gasp and hum in agreement. Their night is not about to end so fast with one act, _hell_ , Castiel wants Sam naked to him all the time, to feel cherished, to receive pleasure, but also give so he surprises Sam and rolls them over again riding him, kissing him, sucking hickeys all over his skin and if Sam is not feeling on the top of the world, gazing at those pleasure-filled blue eyes, kissing those full lips, watching Cas arch and move as he has been doing it for years. Cas doesn’t fail to blush like a teenager when he looks down at Sam, his messy hair, sweaty neck and face, panting, his upper lip giving a twitch.

Castiel swears it feels better than any other time before, not worried for anything going wrong, because it already happened breathtakingly good and they don’t stop for so long they don’t even know what’s the time when they finally fall asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

Sam wakes up around 9. The light in the room is a bit dull because the blinds were still down. His mouth feels dry, stomach rumbling with hunger. Spread like a baby on his stomach he feels too fucked out to move and he doesn’t even care it’s Monday. He turns his head to the right to see the naked back of Castiel turned on him, shoulder rising and falling slightly with his calm breathing. Sam yawns and rubs his eyes, shifting on his right as well and trying to focus on Cas. Then he sees, he sees what Cas has been hiding all this time, why he never walked shirtless around, or let Sam see him when changing, explains why he insisted on low lights only candles – Cas’ back is scared. His skin is scared from claws and bites, scratches. It all seemed stretched and old but Sam’ hasn’t seen so many scars on someone’s body before. He frowns and moves closer to Cas, tracing fingers over the deepest scars, eyes following the curve of his side, over the hip, the beginning of his buttcrack all hidden by the thin bed sheet.

‘Ugly, isn’t it?’ Cas murmurs quietly, voice sleepy and hoarse.

‘Cas… sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.’ Sam murmurs and pulls his hand away. No one says anything for a while so Sam moves closer to Cas, worried he might offended him or Cas doesn’t feel well. ‘It’s not ugly, Cas, you are not ugly.’ He slides hand around Cas’ waist and kisses his shoulder, then his neck, and presses chest to his back. ‘Is that-‘

‘Yes.’ Cas already knows what Sam is about to ask ‘That’s memorabilia I got left with after the attack.

‘Doesn’t look that bad.’ Sam says quietly, comfortingly.

‘I went on many skin procedures and sure now it doesn’t look that bad, but before… it was even worse. It’s difficult to enjoy some things like beach and sex when other people would be able to see that.’

‘I’m not here to judge you for your flaws. I’m here to love you the way you are.’

Cas’ breath ceases in his lungs and he blinks his sleepy eyes, feeling tears. Did he hear right? He slides hand over Sam’s and turns around a bit immediately facing Sam.

‘W-what did you say?’ He barely whispers checking his face out, eyes searching into Sam’s.

‘Yes, Cas… I love you. I’m confident enough to admit it now.’ Sam sees the tears in Castiel’s eyes welling up and threatening to roll over the edge. Sam gets confused and worried. Why is Cas reacting like that? Wasn’t it good what he said? ‘Cas, I-‘ He doesn’t even know what to say. 

Cas cuts his words fast with tender press of lips against his, trying to take a steady breath, failing slightly, parting lips and sucking Sam’s bottom lip, not ready to pull back and let Sam see the 2 single tears that make their way down his cheeks. Sam kisses him back as softly, and carefully, squeezing their fingers together, palm warm on the side of Cas’ neck. There’s only a tiny wet pop when they break, looking each other really closely.  

‘I hoped you would say that someday because I love you too.’

Dimples cut through Sam’s cheeks, pinkness spreading up his face. He kisses Cas again, so hard that his head sinks in the pillow. Cas shifts somehow completely to Sam and they are once more pressed naked to each other.

‘Crap, Cas, school’ Sam breaks the kiss and shoots eyes between the clock and Cas.

‘I have later classes, don’t worry.’ Cas explains fast and pulls Sam back to eat his mouth.

Harley decides it’s enough. His owner and Castiel have been locked their since the previous night and Harley wants to pee so he jumps on the door and starts scratching on it, barking and whining sadly. Sam breaks the kiss and drops face to Cas’ neck.

‘He gets irritated when I didn’t take him pee early in the morning.’

‘Go. I will prepare coffee.’

‘No.’ Sam stops him immediately. ‘I want to prepare coffee and bring it to you in bed.’

Those human-puppy begging eyes, Cas can’t say no so he pecks Sam on the lips and turns to cuddle the pillow. Sam rolls to his side of the bed and stands up, looking for his underwear. Cas licks lips and smirks when he sees that damn fine round butt. Sam puts few more gears and hurries outside to take Harley on a walk before he pees inside.

When they return the coffee is hot and ready so Sam just pours it in mugs and takes it to the bedroom when he finds Cass catching Harley’s head who has sprawled on the bed and melting under the attention.

‘I thought you said you loved me.’ Sam shakes head with a sad frown.

‘Shut up and come here.’ Cas reaches hand forward and Sam smiles wide sitting on the edge to Cas and checking out his naked chest above the rim of his steaming mug. His chest is scared too, almost as much as his back and Sam shivers slightly, unnoticeable. ‘It’s not fair to be the only naked guy in that room.’

‘You want me to strip again?’

Cas looks around for a while, and back at Sam and his fully clothed body and raises eyebrows a bit as if it’s the most obvious think ‘Yes.’

‘But Cas-‘ Sam sighs and suddenly nods ‘Yes, you are right-‘ He leaves his mug and soon is stripped down to underwear again, shooing Harley off the bed and going under the cover with Cas and their hot coffee.

‘Do we have time to repeat a moment from last night before work?’ Cas mumbles while planting soft kisses along Sam’s jaw. Sam catches Cas’ free hand and slides it under the covers placing it on his already half-hard member. ‘Alright, so that’s a yes.’

‘That’s a hell yes.’

It’s almost 11 am when they arrive at the bookstore. Fingers twined, Sam leans down to kiss Cas goodbye. They can’t separate for good 1 minute and Cas sighs.

‘I’ll see you after work, right?’ Sam mumbles on his lips.

‘I’ll pick you up.’ Cas answers and nibbles his bottom lip, making Sam moans shortly, but the feeling of being watched from passing people turn his face red. ‘Love you.’

‘Love you too.’ Sam grins and kisses him one last time before Cas slipping through his fingers and hurrying to his school.

Sam comes in and goes straight behind the counter. Gabriel approaches really fast and points at his clock.

‘What’s the time, Sam?’

’10 to 11, why?’ Sam barely looks at him as he takes off his top and checks the cash machine.

‘Don’t we open at 8?’

‘You opened at 8, right?’ Sam flashes him a short grin.

‘Yes… nearly… 60 after 8.’ 

‘You got late with 1 hour?’ Sam sighs and looks at him in a way that says ‘seriously, again.’

‘Excuse you, you got late with…’ Gabe looks at his watch ‘Well, well, 3 hours.’

‘It was totally worth it.’ Sam gives him a knowing look, remembering what have happened under the sheets like 1 hour ago and Cas’ moans echoed through his head again.

‘Oh man’ Gabriel laughs and leans on the counter with elbows ‘You got laid, didn’t you?’

‘Jesus, Gabe.’ Sam shakes head, unable to stop grinning and sits on his chair and sighs ‘Yes… but not only that. I told him I loved him… and he said he did too. We drank coffee in bed together again.’

‘Great. I’m glad to see you happy, Sam.’ Gabe smiles at him no trace of joking anymore.

Sam nods, smiling back at him ‘Gabe, can I ask you something?’

‘Shoot.’

‘The last Friday of August I’m going on a wedding and if you could take the shift then.’

‘You too? I’m on a wedding too. Well Kelly is invited and she wants me to come with her.’

‘Seriously, on the same day?’ Sam rises eyebrows and Gabe shrugs.

‘Her brother is getting married.’

Sam stares at him and thinks for a while ‘Is her brother called Clay?’

‘How do you know?’ Gabe stares him surprised and that’s the reaction Sam needs to understand what’s happening.

‘My cousin Jo is getting married to a guy named Clay.’

‘No way! Are we becoming one family now?’

‘With Kelly yeah.’ Sam nods, surprised by the realization.

‘Well, well’ Gabriel laughs ‘What we gonna do for Friday then?’

‘I will send letter to the boss. He won’t mind.’ Sam sighs and goes in his email to type in a letter.


	22. Chapter 22

The months till the wedding roll fast. Every day Sam gathers bravery to call is parents and tell them about Castiel. Every time he travels to their house he tries to mention it and talk with his mom, tries to notice how his father would react if he admitted something like that but not really successfully.

Cas moves in Sam’s apartment, not officially because just a very small part of his things are there, like hygiene things – soap, shampoo, razor, deodorant, perfume etc. part of his clothes, working things for school. Their relationship gets really serious, after this and admitting their love to each other so Sam keeps thinking that it’s serious enough to tell his parents but it only makes him anxious when he thinks about it.

Castiel gets used to Harley faster and faster and he no longer jumps when Sam’s dog approaches him or demands a scratch.

The night before Jo’s wedding, they pack their bags and that’s when Mary calls.

_‘Good evening, honey. How are you?’_

‘Hi, mom. I’m very good. You?’

_‘Excited. Worried… I hope I don’t disappoint the couple.’_

‘I’m sure you prepared everything perfectly. We will help when we come tomorrow morning.’

 _‘Great, I will need help…’_ Mary pauses a bit _’Who is we, honey?’_

Sam’s chest tightens and cold sweat covers his entire body. ‘Mom I… I know I should have asked earlier but… can I bring someone with me?’ 

 _‘Oh, Sam, of course you can._ ’ Mary gasps on the other side ‘ _I’m so excited to meet her. Why didn’t you tell us that you are in relationship? Is she pretty?’_

‘Mom’ Sam sighs and chews his lip, feeling it a bit difficult to breathe, speaking quietly ‘Mom it’s… I got a boyfriend… for few months now.’

There’s silence on the other side, heavy painful silence and Sam’s head spins ‘Mom… I’m sorry… I’m…’

_‘Oh, no, no, Sam, don’t say that. Oh honey, why didn’t you tell us that you are-‘_

‘Mom, I’m sorry… I was scared and time passed and I never-‘

_‘You know you could trust me, dear, and I was so worried, thinking you will stay single or you have problems…’_

‘Mom… I’m sorry to disappoint you.’ Sam whispers in the speaker, his face on fire, heart hammering against his chest, single tear finding its way down his face.

 _‘No, Sam, don’t ever think you disappointed me._ ’ Mary’s voice come determined somehow soft and firm at the same time, needing to make sure Sam will understand her ‘ _You are my son no matter what and I’m so proud of you. From the person you are, the way you grew up and settled your life. And if you want to be with a guy, and you love a guy I support that.’_

‘Thank you, mom. I should have told you a lot earlier about that and about him it just seemed as such a hard wall to go through.’ Sam speaks a lot more confident feeling such a relief in his chest.

_‘Tell me something, honey: Do you love him? Are you happy with him?’_

Sam doesn’t say anything at first and just looks towards the bedroom where Cas is folding clothes and he can’t help but smile ‘Yeah… since I met him everything is a lot brighter and happier.  I can’t handle a day without seeing his face.’

 _‘That’s all I wanted to hear, Sam – that my son is happy. I can’t wait to meet you both tomorrow._ ’

‘Sure thing.’ Sam smiles and hurries before hanging up ‘Mom?’

 _‘Yes, honey?’_ Her voice comes soft and carrying.

‘Don’t tell dad! Please don’t…’

_‘I won’t, Sam. I won’t tell him. It’s your decision.’_

‘I will find a way… I hope. I’m just scared, mom.’ 

_‘Don’t be. I’ll be there to support you.’_

‘Dean too.’  

_‘He knows?’_

‘Mom I…’

_‘It’s okay. I’m glad you have perfect connection with your brother and he has supported you.’_

‘Thank you, mom, for everything. I will see you tomorrow.’

_‘Good night, honey.’_

Sam hangs up the phone and takes few heavy breaths suddenly happier than he thought he could be. His mom already knew and she was going to meet in the morning.

His father, however, is a different story.

Sam parks the jeep in front of the front yard, behind a line of two other cars. It’s 9 and everyone else will come till 12. The ceremony is later in the afternoon. Harley already can’t wait to get out of the car. Sam looks out of the window and exhales heavily. Cas reaches and squeezes his fingers.

‘It’s going to be just fine.’ He assures and leans to kiss his cheek briefly.

‘Trying to believe that. Just… we have to try to keep our hands off of each other. And act more as friends and less as lovers.’ Sam can catch the little shadow of disappointment in Castiel’s eyes though he tries to smile. ‘I’m sorry… I just have to find the right time to break the news to part of my family. At least I have Dean and mom to support me.’

Harley whines, looking out the window and clawing at the door.

‘I’m going to come on in front of the family either today or tomorrow. And I have no idea how they will react. Bobby’s sister might scream and spray me with holy water… best case. Or maybe, if I start the engine now we may go back home and make up an excuse and-‘

‘Sam enough.’ Cas shakes head and squeezes Sam’s cheeks with one hand. ‘We are not running. I’m nervous too, but now or never. No matter what happens we stick together. Besides, your mom already saw us.’ Cas nods towards the house and turns Sam’s head same direction.’

‘Frap’ Sam utters between his squeezed cheeks and opens the door to go out.

He lets Harley free and he is the first one to greet Mary. She laughs and pats the dog walking up to Sam who hugs her and greets her warmly.

‘I saw you through the window-‘

‘Is dad here?’ Sam cuts her, impolite, but he is too nervous and scared and needs to know.

‘No, honey, I sent him to the town with to-do list and he has to meet some guests so they will be home a bit later. Relax.’

Sam sighs a bit and pulls back smiling at his mom, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. His heart keeps racing though when he turns and takes Castiel’s hand into his, pulling him forward.

‘Mom I want you to meet my boyfriend, Castiel, he is a teacher in town and the most gorgeous man.’

‘Sam’ Cas blushes and shakes head, taking Mary’s hand into his ‘It’s my pleasure to finally meet you Mrs. Winchester. Now I see where Sam got his handsomeness and beautiful eyes.’ He kisses Mary’s knuckles.

‘Such a gentleman, Castiel, welcome to our home. I’m really happy Sam got the bravery to take you with him. Please, come in, you must be tired and hungry. I prepared warm breakfast and coffee.’

Grinning Sam holds Cas’ hand and three of them go in the house, sitting in the kitchen for what Mary has to offer. They tell Mary how they met, that Cas sort-a moved in with Sam, about Cas PTSD that Mary finds interesting and get worried of how he deals with Harley. ‘Baby steps’ Sam explains and tells his mom how they slowly worked up to him getting used to Harley. Sam takes time to tell everything to his mom, how he found out about his sexual orientation, how he lived with it without telling anyone. Mary is concern of he has been accepted all that time and Sam admits that he barely had any problems about that and she should not worry because he is happy and he has Cas now.

Mary can’t stop looking at both of them and smile. Castiel seems like a really intelligent and nice guy and she is sure that he is great for Sam because she knows her son – Sam would never choose something bad for himself. They both go to the car to pick up the luggage and climb upstairs to Sam’s room to settle in. The bed is not really big but that would mean they have to cuddle really close when they sleep and Cas really much likes that idea. The room has a lot of things – shelves full of books, posters, action figures, Cas opens few drawers and finds magazines and comics.

‘I should have asked.’ He turns to Sam all small and apologetic.

‘It’s okay. I have nothing to hide from you. Look around, touch anything. I haven’t changed my room since I was in high school.’  

‘I see. I really get to touch to your teenage-hood. You haven’t changed much - same book-worm.’ Cas chuckles and shakes a Christmas snowball. Sam sneaks behind him, wrapping arms around his waist and kisses his neck softly.

‘You like nerds, don’t you?’

Cas shifts in his arms to face him ‘Only the one I have right here.’ He smirks and lifts up, pecking Sam’s lips, but Sam hugs him tighter and brings Cas’ face close to his and teasing his lips with tongue until Cas grants access. Sam grasps under his thigh and lifts him up, Cas wrapping legs around his waist and Sam carries him to the bed, carefully lying him down, settling between his legs and twining their fingers together above Cas’ head. ‘Not safe for that, Sam.’

‘Who said we are doing something bad?’ Sam smirks and buries face in Cas’ neck, who sighs in content and flutters eyes closed, wishing Sam would stop rolling his hips up (actually wanting to scream to keep going).  

‘It’s not bad, it’s just too good, but the door is not locked and your mom can come upstairs any minute.’

‘Don’t you like a bit danger, adrenaline?’ Sam breathes hot in his ear and Castiel’s hair stands up.

He doesn’t answers, mouth full of Sam’s tongue, fingers locked and squeezing, Cas letting tiny breathy moans that heat up Sam even more, and he feels they might need to get some private time.

‘Sam, honey, your father called-‘ Mary walks right in the room and gasps, turning around fast ‘Oh my god I’m sorry, I forgot to knock.’  

Sam is already off of Castiel, had jumped the moment he heard ‘your father’ part, licking lips fast, and taking a breath, trying to swallow the heart in his throat, and helps Cas sit up. ‘It’s okay… we were just… What about dad?’

‘They are coming home a bit earlier.’

Sam helps his mom to prepare the lunch table and Cas stays upstairs to look around Sam’s room and give them mother-son private time. Sam’s heart hammers, tries to keep mind and hands busy, already made up explanation for his dad about Castiel something about college best friend he met again few weeks ago and wanted to spend time with him. John wasn’t going to ask much questions so it sounds believable.

When John and Dean arrive, followed by two cars of guests, Sam goes to meet them. Dean hugs him first and whispers comforting words in his ear, that John was in good mood. Sam then hugs his father who seems really happy to see him, asks him how he is, how he traveled and they lead the guests in the house – Bobby and his wife with their son, and Bobbie’s sister. Mary’s brother and his wife and their 3 little demon kids, because of which Sam swears sometimes he won’t have children. 

He meets everyone with Castiel, trying to be all casual. And he really surprise when everyone really believe every word he says about Castiel, still trying not to make up too many lies that he would feel uncomfortable admit after their relationship comes out.  

Their lunch goes perfectly, talking, bonding, getting used to each other, reminding the old times which is great opportunity for Castiel to get to know Sam’s family even better and laugh at Sam’s embarrassing stories that his parents don’t miss to tell. Both he and Cas are too shy, nervous and quiet to actually tell or do something that would give them away.

After lunch everyone have something to do in last preparations. Jo and Clay arrive in separate cars with their families, followed by friends, the bride’s maids, Clay’s friends and soon the house and the yard are full of people. The men stay aside with drinks and smokes, while most of the girls help the bride. The ceremony starts at 5 till 6 and then it’s the dinner, the cake, and the dancing. Everyone is too excited and distracted so Sam decides his truth may wait till the next day.  

He and Cas change in their suits 1 hour before the ceremony and fix each other’s ties, grinning happily as if it’s their own wedding.

‘Damn, Cas, you look damn hot.’ Sam pushes fingers in Cas’ dress pants fixing his belt.

‘You are irresistible’ Cas’s voice reaches lower octave and pulls Sam down by his tie, kissing him softly.

‘ Mmm, better go downstairs and get busy before I do you right here and miss the ceremony.’

‘I don’t mind.’ Cas smirks, walking pass Sam to leave the room, earning himself a slap on the ass.

Not everything goes as bright and happy as it was in the morning. All the trying to cover things gets ruined really stupidly. Sam and Cas finish checking the food in the kitchen getting called from Mary to come outside because they have to start. Sam takes Cas’ hand, thinking to let go once they step outside, but Cas pulls him back, demanding for a kiss. Sam can’t refuse those begging blue eyes and cups Castiel’s face kissing him softly. The teacher wants more and leans against the counter with hands on Sam’s waist. Sam moans just shortly in his mouth, and hell they will get late just a bit, but for Castiel’s mouth it’s worth it.

‘Sam, your mother called, we have to start any moment-‘ John comes in with a stack of beer and freezes at the door, already caught a glimpse of Sam’s and Castiel’s mouths smashed together and separating, pulling away fast. Sam is staring at his father, cheeks flushed, and Castiel wants to become really small.

‘Dad-‘

‘What’s going on?’ John stays frozen, darting eyes between the two.

‘Dad, I can explain… Cas is … ‘

‘Samuel, you better tell me right now what game you played on me all day.’ John leaves the beer down, talking a bit louder and steps forward, obviously angry.  

Sam catches Castiel’s hand, head bowed down a little ‘Cas is my boyfriend. We’ve been together for nearly 5 months.’

‘Boys, where are you?’ Mary comes in, followed by Dean but no one seems to pay them attention.

‘You are gay?’ John asks the obvious, quietly. Sam only nods, squeezing Castiel’s hand way too hard.

‘John, lets don’t make scenes and go out. It’s your nephews wedding we have been preparing for months. We will talk about this tomorrow.’ Mary insists, approaching her husband.

‘You knew about this?’ He turns to her surprised and even angrier.

‘He told me yesterday-’

‘And you didn’t tell me anything? That our son will bring in the house a guy we never met, on family’s member wedding, sticking tongue’s in each other’s mouths?’

‘Dad, let’s go out.’ Dean insists firmly but John doesn’t listen and turns back to Sam.

‘Mister Winchester-‘ Castiel starts insecure.

‘Don’t talk to me.’ John hisses at him.

‘Don’t dare talk to him like that.’ Sam steps forward and raises voice at his dad. ‘He is my family now and I love him-.’

John’s palm, fast as the light drops loud across Sam’s face, the slap echoing through the kitchen. Mary screams, Dean yells, Sam’s entire body twists towards Cas and the teacher catches him, eyes open wide in shock.

‘THAT’S ENOUGH.’ Dean grasps his father and pulls him away.

‘JOHN, HOW COULD YOU? THAT’S YOUR SON.’

‘That’s my home and I don’t approve that.’ John yells back and tries to fight Dean but they somehow manage to pull him away.

Holding Sam to his embrace, Cas takes him to the living room and sits him down on the couch.

‘Sam’ he whispers and tries to look him but Sam refuses to, shifting head away ‘Sam, please, look at me, let me see.’ He combs fingers through Sam’s hair and the younger man finally turns around.

The left part of his face is entirely red, eyes filled with tears, few of them silently rolling down his face, bottom lip trembling violently.

‘It doesn’t look that bad.’ Cas shakes head, tears already rolling his own cheeks by the sight of his hurt lover.

Sam doesn’t say anything, breaking, he buries face in Castiel’s neck, clinging on him desperately, sobbing. Cas presses cheek to his hair, hugging him tight and trying to hush him. They were so sure things would go well. Sam doesn’t want to see his dad, doesn’t want to talk, and he is so thankful Castiel doesn’t try either. They just sit alone in the living room.

The ceremony gets late with half an hour and 15 minutes into it already Cas and Sam finally come too, sitting quietly on the side. Of course the family around them ask him what’s with his face but he lies something and assures them he is okay.

For him, his parents, brother and Cas the celebration is already ruined but as the night goes they pretend very well it’s okay. Sam presses cold glasses of drinks to his cheek every now and then to soothe the sting and Cas tries to stick to him and wants to caress him and kiss him and soothe him but at the same time not attract attention to their unusual behavior.

Sam feels his father’s eyes pinned on them all night and he gets sick of it. He takes Cas and pulls him to the dance floor with everyone else, arm wrapped around his waist, fingers tangled together, slowly rocking to the music. Cas stares surprised at Sam, looking nervously around with the edges of his eyes. Sam keeps his eyes on Cas, smiling softly, not saying a word. Everyone stare. In the beginning they do, they whisper and Sam feels the fire swallowing him, burning him, finding soothe in Castiel’s blue eyes. And very soon no one is staring, no one is paying them attention.

Dancing with his wife, Dean rock closer to them ‘Congratulations. Your fame lasted whole 5 minutes.’

‘What does everyone think?’

‘That you look cute. Bobby said he knew it.’ Dean laughs.

Sam searches the crowd fast and Bobby raises his glass at him. Sam smiles and shakes head.

‘Some have no idea what happened, and I heard someone say ‘At least he doesn’t do drugs.’

‘I don’t really care what people think. I’m happy.’

‘I’m proud of you, Sammy. Mom too.’

‘Dad?’

‘His head is still steaming, I think. I had really serious talk with him and he didn’t answer me once. I couldn’t stand the fact he hit you like that. You okay?’

‘Yeah.’ Sam answers quietly and Dean leaves them alone with a pat on Sam’s back.

While Cas dances with Mary, Sam pulls away to take another drink and press the cool glass to his cheek. Surprisingly, John comes and sits not too far from him, silently.

‘What? Came to beat me up again? For wanting to be happy?’

‘I’m sorry.’ John apologies quietly, not looking at Sam.

‘Yeah, right. Tomorrow morning we are leaving, no need to see us again.’

‘I don’t want that, Sam.’

‘I think you made it pretty clear when you left me that.’ Sam turns to him and points at his red, slightly swollen cheek. John looks at him, real guilt in his eyes.

‘I was wrong, son. I want you to be happy and I’m really sorry. Castiel is a nice guy’ 

‘You just don’t want his tongue down my throat.’

‘Please, don’t talk like that.’ John shakes head.

‘You never had a right way with me and Dean. Thank god we had mom.’ Sam utters and stands up.

‘Sam, wait, please-‘

‘Tomorrow, John, I’m not in mood.’ Sam heads towards the house, his dad standing there with clenched throat. None of his sons ever called him by name before.

Up in Sam’s room he finds a basket of food, wine and candles and a key on the bed. He frowns and goes over it, finding a note on top ‘ _Have fun. – Mom’._ Sam is really confused for a while, looking at the key, having no idea where that might be from. It’s a small key, different. He looks out of the window, sees the party in the yard and his eyes wander farther until he sees the big oak tree and the lightened tree house hidden in the branches and the leaves. Sam laughs, mood improved. He grabs the basket and the key and goes fast downstairs. He finds Cas on the dance floor, kisses his mother’s cheek fast and pulls Cas fast to the other end of the yard.

‘What is going on?’ Cas runs after him, curious and excited.

‘It’s time we go somewhere private.’

Sam helps Cas climb upstairs, into the house and the man gasps at how great it looks, not too small, but not to wide, floor covered with blankets and pillows. Sam places the basket down carefully and takes the food on the side, the bottle of wine on safe distance. There’s also lube and condoms on the bottom and Sam blushes hard, thinking how his mom prepared all that and Cas laughs.

‘I love your mom.’

‘Me too.’

They make love to the music background of the wedding. They almost forget there’s wedding down there, only two of them, the candles throwing red-orange light over their skins, the flames reflecting in their eyes, gasping, moaning, sweaty skins sticking. They kiss until their lips are swollen, Sam leaves hickeys all over Castiel’s skin, Cas chants Sam’s name, kneading fingers in his muscles, tugging his hair, they roll, they shift, they moan again and growl. They finish ones. Cas straddles Sam, rides his way, mouths sealed, bottle of wine finished, they come again.

After barely catching his breath, Cas sits up, still with Sam inside him, breathing heavy, really heated up, and sweating, he rests head back and moans.

‘Too hot.’

Sam sits up too, his hair messy in all positions, all over his face, breathing heavy too, drops of sweat really rolling down his chest.

‘Yes, this is so hot.’

‘No, Sam, the atmosphere is really hot. I’m going to faint.’ 

‘Wanna cool down?’

‘Please.’

Sam grasps Cas in his sweaty hug to which Cas cries shortly, too hot and wet for that. Sam moves Cas on the side, slipping out of him to which Cas moans again, and Sam crawls to the window from which he can see the dance floor of the wedding, sees Dean and dials his number. 

‘Sam?’ Dean frowns when he picks up.

‘Dean, you see the bucket of ice and Champaign on the table on your right?’

Dean looks around confused and sees what Sam asks ‘Yes… where are you?’

‘In the tree house with Cas. It’s end of August and it’s really hot in here and we… well … Can you just bring us the bucket, please?’

‘Sure.’ Dean hangs up and shakes head, “stealing” the bucket and going to the tree. ‘Pssst, love birds.’

Sam shows at the window ‘God bless you, Dean.’

‘I’m not going up there I don’t want to see certain things.’

‘Here’ Sam throws a hook on a rope which almost hits Dean on the head. He hooks the bucket and Sam pulls it slowly up. ‘Thank you.’ He disappears fast.

‘Sam… jesus’ Dean shakes head, lost chance to ask Sam if they are going back in the house later. He walks away, shaking head, but also smiling at his brother’s happiness.

Sam blows out the candles and sits with Cas by the window, dragging ice cubes over every inch of his skin and sharing cold Champaign directly from the bottle. They sit in silence, in the darkness, watching the party still wild down there. Sam peppers kisses on Castiel’s neck and shoulders, temples, caresses his overheated skin, sex need still not dead.

‘Sam’ Cas calls quietly, shifting head towards him, resting on his shoulder.

‘Hmm?’ Sam hums and takes a swig from the bottle.

Cas keeps silent for a while, caressing Sam’s arms that are around him and whispers. ‘Maybe we can get married one day… have such party too… be husbands.’

Sam looks him surprised, full of warmth, feeling the love.

‘Are you proposing me?’

‘Not right now. I don’t have ring. Just asking.’

Sam hugs him tight, and presses lips to his, Cas opens up and deepens it, needs it, fingers tender on Sam’s face, afraid not to hurt him as his father did.

‘That would be the happiest day of my life.’ Sam finally answers on Cas’ lips.

‘My happy days started since that afternoon in the park.’

Sam smiles at the memory and presses lips to Castiel’s forehead ‘Mine too.’

The night turns long for them, only two of them, naked in the tree house, where no one can reach them and disturb their peace and pleasure, promises kissed deep into skins.  

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you reached that note you read the entire fic and i'm really thankful. I hoped you enjoyed.   
> I tried and worked long and hard on it, gained experience and i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did while writing it.   
> I want to thank my soulmate Vani (sastiel-affair in tumblr) who supported me and encouraged me through the whole process and because of which i actually get my fics done just to witness her reaction.   
> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment if you like. <3


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